The words that have yet been spoken
the things I need to say.
To voice what's within my heart
I just can't find a way.
I've fought with my emotions
I've held them deep inside.
I didn't want to face what for so long
you've tried to hide.
I've been lost within the dark
for so long I've seen no light.
Holding on to the memory
of a time when things were right.
I've looked upon your face
and seen the sadness in your eyes.
The battle of addiction
you no longer can disguise.
I've prayed to find the answers
of what I myself must do.
And I've prayed for the strength to fight
through the hell that I go through.
I've held on for so long
but I can no longer watch you die.
I cannot fight this for you
but lords knows how I've tried.
It's just so hard to watch the ones you love
slowly slip away.
That's why I just blocked it out
and held on to yesterday.
I don't have all the answers
or the power to save your soul.
Your broken, lost and lonely
and I cannot make you whole.
This fight is yours and yours alone
no matter what I do.
For I cannot save you
the only one who can
is you.
In this life
I once felt hope.
I sometimes still believe in this,
but each moment a little less.
I feel abandoned in my despair,
and it's difficult to repair.
I get broken each day some more,
keeping these emotions in my core.
I find myself hiding behind this smile,
the one that shows my denial.
I have thoughts of lonesomeness,
which no person should possess.
I camouflage this so well;
it feels like I'm in hell.
I hurt on the inside,
trying to push these demons aside.
I want something better,
to not feel all this terror.
I know it can be manageable;
there are things that make life tolerable.
I just cannot find the thrill,
like when I was a child with a one dollar bill.
I remember when dreams were imaginable,
now it feels like I'm undoubtedly fallible.
I wish to find myself soon.
This feels as if I'm trapped in a cocoon.
I would like to hatch,
not be so detached.
I need to end this coldness,
before death leaves me soulless.