From desire to orgasm, female pleasure will soon be no mystery for you! Clinical sexologists Jacqueline Breut and Dominique Lefèvre shed light on how it works. Knowing that the more you understand your body, the more pleasure you will have during the act.
Step 1: The desire to sexually motivate :
The desire for the woman allows him to be receptive, to motivate himself in sexual stimulation, to feel the psychic reward with a sexual satisfaction encouraged by this desirous meeting of oneself with oneself and of oneself with the others" explains the sexologist Dominique Lefèvre .
Jacqueline Breut, also a sexologist, wants to recall the 4 important aspects that influence sexuality, whether male or female.
Biological aspects: anatomy, maturation, reproduction, fertility, contraception, sexually transmitted infections ...
Social aspects: family, education, school, social group, culture, religion, media, stereotypes ...
Psychological aspects: psychosexual development, sexual orientation
Moral and ethical aspects: law, values, rules of conduct ...
The 4 phases of Masters and Johnson: "The first sexual organ is the brain.The desire is very little medical, it manifests itself in the heads of the partners" explains the sexologist. She points out that the sexologists William Howell Masters and Virginia Eshelman Johnson have highlighted in the 1960s a curve of sexual response. "On this curve, we see the phase of excitation which increases rather quickly, then comes a phase of plateau which increases slowly, then appears a flight of the curve to represent the orgasmic fore-tip and finally what is called the resolution , with the curve falling quite quickly "explains the specialist. For Dominique Lefèvre: "Desire is not a stage but a transversal component of the four stages of the physiology of pleasure".
It all starts with the desire: "It is difficult for a patient to distinguish pleasure and excitement.If the problem is in the body, it is about excitement, if it is in the head, then it is about desire, "says Jacqueline Breut. The specialist explains that the desire of women is oriented towards symbolic components of sexuality. "They are sensitive to the circumstances of life, to the context, they need to feel loved, they are passionate, they need a pleasant climate, they are flattered, caressed so that they can develop their seduction, "she says.
The representation of desire: "The woman is underpinned by a major notion which is seduction, she tries to reassure herself, to arouse the desire of the other person or the others, and the man is more oriented towards he is very sensitive to visual stimuli, "says sexologist Jacqueline Breut. The woman is less sensitive to these stimuli because the fact of being desirable increases her personal desire, the woman likes to please. "I call it desirability, the ability to arouse desire in others."
To know oneself to know the desire: Some women wonder how desire arrives and tend to put the blame on it, to feel guilty. The sexologist explains that if there is one area where self-knowledge is paramount, it is that of desire. "How does desire come because you have looked for it," she explains. "Women who have learned to discover their bodies have easier access to their desire.It is therefore important to make women feel guilty about masturbation.The desire is the meeting with the other but before that, it is the meeting with oneself.
Step 2: The rising excitement during the preliminaries :
Arrived at this stage, Jacqueline Breut explains that the neurovegetative system is unleashed. This system brings together the friendly and the parasympathetic:
The sympathetic causes a mydriasis (development of black eyes), an increase in blood pressure, a piloerection, an areolar contraction which is a retraction of the areola of the breasts and an erection of the nipples.
Parasympathetic causes salivation, redness of the skin, sweating, vasodilation, vaginal lubrication, vulvar swelling and clitoral tumescence.
"It is usually at this moment that foreplay intervenes, the woman needs contact," says sexologist Jacqueline Breut.
Not always need desire to be excited: Dominique Lefèvre says: "It often happens that women are in the phase of excitement without their desire is put to work.The women are copying on their partner and reach a level of 'excitation". She continues: "The excitement is physical and physiological congestion of the entire genital and breast is related to vascular phenomena.
The humorous wink of Dominique Lefèvre: "When the woman wakes up or feels excited in the early morning, it means that she has 'an internal erection.'" The cavernous bodies and female spongy bulbs internal to the clitoris at rest swell with blood like the penis of the man and provoke a sexual arousal "explains it.
Step 3: Lubrication to facilitate penetration :
"Lubrication is the appearance of a transudation on the wall of the vagina, a clear liquid that facilitates the sliding of the penis," explains Jacqueline Breut. She adds: "Vasodilation and lubrication can appear very quickly during the period of excitation." Dominique Lefèvre recalls that this lubrication is secreted by the skene and Bartholin glands.
How the lubrication works: "The Bartholin's glands, located at the level of the vulva, produce a fluid at the time of intercourse.They can lubricate the vestibule, space between the two labia minora, but not the inside of the vagina. Skene glands or peri-urethral glands located at the entrance of the urethra are involved in female ejaculation, liquid expelled at the time of orgasm by the same orifice as urine "explained the sexologist Catherine Solano E -health.
Step 4: The pre-orgasmic plateau :
This stage is called "the pre-orgasmic plateau" or "plateau pleasure" to designate the maintenance of excitation at a high level along a plateau line.
Maintaining the excitement: "As the caresses, the excitement will increase, it will stay more continuous, longer and softer.It will maintain gradually increasing. will be more and more important, the sex organs will be completely inflated, this phenomenon is comparable to an erection in humans "explains Jacqueline Breut.
Dominique Lefèvre says: "The volume of the breasts increases and the small lips are red announcing the imminence of the orgasm.This phase is important because variations can take place either in exacerbation, by a rise in wave or in a fallout with stagnation of emotions or with a total loss of excitement.If this becomes regular, then it is necessary to consult a sex therapist.It is necessary to leave nothing on the excitement, "she explains.
Step 5: The orgasmic tip :
An intense pleasure: For Dominique Lefèvre: "The orgasm is a bubbling of ardor, its sources are important: whether it is more physical and animal, more cerebral and fantasmatic, or more emotional and sentimental". The expert continues: "The physical sensations are increased either in the lower body highly genitalised or in the upper body and the combination of both causes a maximum experience of completeness and sexual well-being."
A pleasure felt in the head and in the body: Just before orgasm, the respiratory rhythm is suspended, it is called an apnea heralding. "At the moment of orgasm, the woman is tense, the whole body stiffens, it is comparable to a tetany crisis," says Jacqueline Breut. She adds that orgasm results in: "A contraction of the muscles, a contraction of the face, occlusion of the eyelids, sighs or cries of intense well-being and vaginal spasms." The uterus begins to rise and to descend and contract as during childbirth The micro-muscle of the nipple contracts by pointing the nipple, "she says.
Expulsion of liquid: Jacqueline Breut points out that some women may have small expulsions of orgasmic fluid. "We talk about orgasmic flooding of women fountains with a fairly abundant liquid," she explains.
To know: "Clitoral stimulation leads to the most intense orgasm and is more easily obtained than vaginal orgasm," says Jacqueline Breut. Dominique Lefèvre adds that: "The female orgasm is facilitated by relational security, good knowledge of her body, her breathing and masturbatory pleasure, imaginative erotic wealth with the words that allow the maintenance of the level of excitement" . She also states that 10% of women have never experienced orgasm, including masturbation.
A different perception of orgasm between the two sexes: "The partners have a subjective perception of orgasm by the notion of enjoyment as being a burst, a burst, a propulsion, an ecstasy or an eternity, in no way comparable to what that it is "explains Dominique Lefevre. "Women have less stereotyped reactions than men, with a wide range.The differences lie primarily in the physiological responses: women have pelvic contractions and men ejaculate.The differences are also anatomical with body anchors in the body. the perception and the integration of the reactions "specifies the sexologist.
Development of feelings through the hormone of love: The sexologist Jacqueline Breut explains: "In both men and women, orgasm causes a kind of endocrine fireworks with the presence of endorphins and Oxytocin: Endorphins are released from the brain and provide a state of ultimate well-being, beyond intense pleasure.Oxytocin is the hormone of attachment.A woman who has just gotten an orgasm will consider that the The man who made her come is 'Prince Charming'. " It is thanks to this hormone that we fall in love.
Having successive orgasms is possible: The two sexologists agree that women have a multi-orgasmic capacity that allows them to multiply orgasms, unlike men who need a certain amount of time before having sex. new erection.
Step 6: The resolution phase :
A phase experienced differently according to sex: "The phase resolution or 'refractory period' is the moment that comes after the orgasm.The erogenous zones no longer accept the stimulation.The labia minora and the clitoris come into detumescence as well Vaginal bulbs and labia majora, more progressively.The lubrication also disappears gradually.The thelotism (increase in the volume of the nipple) regresses, vasoconstriction begins and the volume of the breasts is reduced.The heart and respiratory rhythms are normalize, "explains the sexologist Dominique Lefèvre.
The refractory period for men: As said before, a woman can meet several times orgasm before the resolution phase, it is the big difference with the men who need a certain period to resume the excitement , take a new curve. "This period for men is called the refractory period.Men and women can meet with troubles at each stage of this curve," explains Jacqueline Breut.
The woman must give the codes to her partner: For the sexologist Jacqueline Breut: "A satisfying desire is the result of self-knowledge and good communication.Everyone refers to his own emotions, that is to say that we do to the other what we would like the other to do to us.Women should communicate, express what they love to their spouse.For this, they must feed on knowledge of it- even". For the sexologist Dominique Lefèvre: "The knowledge of oneself and the fact of having met the sexual pleasure will increase the chances and be the engine to go to seek it and to develop hedonistic behaviors".
To know: "It is obviously not obligatory to have an orgasm during a sexual intercourse.Many women take pleasure without getting orgasm" precise sexologist Jacqueline Breut.
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