A lady once approached me in a bit to seek for counsel and asked me a direct question: “can you marry a lady who is older than you?” I answered her “yes I can marry a woman that is older than me.” Then she wanted to know the reason for my response. She was actually at a juncture in her life where she needed to clear off her head to know if she was not the one hindering her God-given husband from coming to her, perhaps because of age factor. Though I am older than my wife, but I also know few families where the wives are older than the husbands and they are living happily together. You won’t know except someone told you.
My aim is to share with you in this post my points of discussion with this lady that you may find helpful in case you are in her shoe.
Should age really be an issue when it comes to marriage? If you discovered that you are older than the guy who is asking for your hand in marriage, what would you do as a lady?
This is a sensitive issue. The choice is personal. So, there is no one way approach to the question.
Can a lady marry a guy she is older than?
My answer to the question will be yes, provided these conditions are met:
God Is In It
The first thing to look out for in every marriage is God’s will. This may sound difficult for someone who does not believe that God has a key role to play in her choice of a spouse. No matter what, you still need to consult God; He is the one who knows who is best for you, age notwithstanding. It means allowing God to lead you in the right direction before you take any step. It also means God’s yes is your yes and God’s no is your no.
The Age Gap Is Not Too Much
I think the age gap should be considered. A lady may still be comfortable to go ahead if the age gap is close, I mean something like one, two or three years. The longer the age, the more difficult the equation.
You Love One Another Genuinely
There is nothing love, genuine love, cannot cover. Since love covers all sins; love can also cover all weaknesses, lapses or gaps in terms of social, character, cultural, religious or age differences in marriage. Nothing else matter when love is in the matter. Love is summed up into commitment. If both of you are ready to be committed to one another and make the marriage work out, then it will work.
The Guy Is Mature
Marriage is not for boys, it is for real men. If you must marry him, he must be able to prove that he is mature. I know maturity is not a function of age, but sometime, age speaks volume. He should be able to manage himself well, make right decision and be stable emotionally with high self-esteem and value system. The guy must not have inferiority complex, because each time anything happens in the house, he will always revert back to the age issue. If you would need to manage him emotionally, then the marriage may not work.
If You Are Submissive
Note that I didn’t say if you can be submissive, I say if you are submissive. If you know you have problem with submission, then, it may not work out. As your husband, he is your head. You need to respect him always and be submissive under his authority in the home. He is your husband, not your junior brother. If you can’t treat him as your husband, just because you are older than him, then there is no point wasting your time.
Thanks for reading!