During high-school, I learned a lot, and not from classes, I learned how to control my depression and how to balance it. It's not a good solution, cause I didn't get rid of it, but I at least was able to make it dimmer. I always had an inclination towards psychology and how human mind works and during high-school, I got the chance to shape myself based on that.
I also had a very bad opinion of myself, still kinda do, but from different reasons. I thought I was ugly and that nobody will be with me. Despite of that, I somehow managed to have a lot of weekly boyfriends, or one time kisses I enjoyed. That is an actual picture of me in the 9th or 10th grade (I can't remember) and I looked fine. I was just stupid and had this awkward complex, which I got rid of after a long while.
Those were my glorious days, but only after the 10th grade did I learn my true potential and started acting on it. But I still have things to tell about the 9th grade.
Like how there was this really really tall dude in my class, and I swear to you, he was a genius (he still is, but now he's kinda living the normal life). He was unbelievably smart and skipped all the classes, except when we had a test or something, and without learning, he usually scored high grades.
He was never in class, but out in the school gym, playing basketball, and he was my desk buddy, cause we had desks of 2 people. The other chair of my desk was kinda never filled, except for some classes, like English, where he came just because it was the head teaches class, or some other exceptions.
Later, like in collage, when I talked to him for a while, he confessed to me that he loved me during those years, and that he used to come to class just to see me. I was oblivious of this fact, still amazed when I think of it. He actually loved me, and I forced him to be with someone else.... Ironies of life... For this story, let's call him Dimitri.
I remember this one time I asked Alice to go and fetch Dimitri cause teachers were pissed that he skipped classes all the time, and I remember her coming back "empty handed". Alice said that Dimitri will not come, cause he doesn't want to. As oblivious as I was, I said that's it, and I went after him. I went in the school gym and told him to come to class, cause if else, he will get in trouble. What do you think he did? Came to class with me.
Alice was a very convincing person, and somehow I had more power over him. I guess he liked my pure sincerity.
I remember this other time during a class, can't remember the subject, but Dimitri was telling a joke. It might have been a good joke, cause he started laughing. I had a straight face on, and never smiled, but when he seemed to have finished the joke, I said:
' Never try to tell me answers during a test.' and I still had that straight face on.
But the true irony of the situation, of my obliviousness was when one of my other high-school friends, lets call her Anushka, actually liked Dimitri. She used to want to be with him, and Dimitri didn't even looked at her, until I kicked in, and kinda convinced him to be with her... Now isn't that fucked up? Say you're in love with someone (high-school love) and that exact someone asks you to be with someone else... I would have said no, no, and argued why. But he didn't... He went ahead and actually dated Anushka, and they were together for a long time.
When they used to fight, Anushka used to tell me everything, and I used to talk to Dimiti and convince him to behave better and make up with her... My god, was I wrong... It wasn't fare for me to ask of those things from him...
But after 9th grade, he moved from Romania and went in England, where he still is, and finished school there, and what not... But to think that after so many years, he confessed to me the truth was amazing...
Paradoxically, I thought that there was such thing as a true friendship between a guy and a girl. He was my one true example... Until collage and he told me that he actually loved me in secret... and then all made sense...
To be continued...