Yesterday I met up with a very dear old time friend after a very long time. Since the last two years have not been much in contact with him so was little bit cut off from his personal space, but then we managed to catch up for a good amount of time exchanging about how our lives were progressing....
At his end on professional front business is booming very well which I was very glad to know.
On personal front, he's married and has 2 children. Though it was sad to know his married life is not going very good.
On checking for the reasons as to what is the problem, he mentioned, he does not get freedom in his married life and hence he is thinking of separation.
So I did a bit of counselling with him, trying to make him understand that life does change after marriage, you cannot be living the same way like how you do when you are single.
I do not wish to discuss more of him but what I see is this is not the first case that I hear, on a regular basis I have these cases where couples are falling out of their relationships and the majority of these cases reason is personal freedom.
I do not say that in marriage you give up your personal space and freedom but at the same time I do believe that this is one relation which will require a lot of understanding and adjustments and to an extent some amount of sacrifice from both partners. No 2 people are same hence there is definetly going to be some amount of differences, conflicts in the relation, but that's part of this deal and if you want to work it out there also will be compromises made.
In India where a lot of marriages in this age also are arranged marriages, where the two do not get time to know each other very well before the marriage it definetly becomes a big challenging for both the partners to start living with each other.
Also its not always that the female partner has to make it work, which is the mentality in majority cases. It's mutual both the sides need to equally work on making the relation work if they want it to.
What I see a lot common in these times is that the tolerance level has gone down lots with people which majorly effects the relation. Even for people who have been dating for years and then get married, god knows what happens after marriage. Suddenly after marriage the flaws start popping up.
Marriage is not only based on Love or that it's just about Love. There is understanding, compassion, compromise everything that is required. If things are falling apart or breaking up, the two needs to gather it back, mend it up and not let it further break.
Life never will be the same after marriage, and both the partners need to come to terms on that and work it out in a way that a beautiful married life is weaved up with both the combinations.
A little bit of her and a little bit of his together will make this relation work beautifully. Ego has no place in this relation.
Divorce and Separation are easy remedies but the real fun is in making it work, so that when you get old together and look back at the journey you will be proud of the miracles you made in your lives.
For sure when I talk about this I do not support any sort of abusive partners. My advise is for those who cannot think beyond them.
Relationship of Marriage is demanding in all ways from both the sides, hence allow the ego to take a back seat. Act mutually, it's not only about you. It's always the US.
With Love and Angels Blessings 💖💖👼🏻👼🏻🧚♀
My other blogs of Interest
Travel Diaries #10 The land of Pharaohs Egypt
Meditation - A Path to your hidden Potentials
Another Feather in my Cap
Old People deserve Love, Respect and Peace, and not Struggles
