Love is one of the most beautiful feelings in the world to a point where it is indescribable. Perhaps, the exact reason why I am struggling with it. It gives you the kind of feeling people write novels about yet it gives you a sense of discomfort.
Love makes you vulnerable. I am sure most of you can relate to this, especially in a new relationship. To be in love, we are allowing ourselves to take risk. A huge one actually, we are opening our personal space and allowing them to come in. We place a great amount of trust in the other person; giving them permission to be in our life whether to love or hurt us. Have anyone told you that the more we care, the more we are exposing ourselves to getting hurt?
Vulnerability is a risk that comes with emotional exposure. People who fear of being in love often have their defenses up in any relationship especially in a love relationship. To overcome your fear of loving and being loved, you will need to lower your defenses and allow yourself to be vulnerable to your partner.
I can smell fear now... The thought of being vulnerable to your partner can indeed be frightening but it is a necessary steps.
As quoted by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross "there are essentially only two human emotions, love and fear." Elisabeth Kübler-Ross is a highly acclaimed psychiatrist.
A summary of both love and fear in her terms is as the follows:
Love provides a space allowing us to process our emotions; whereas, fear causes us to jump into conclusions.
Love gives us assurance of ourselves and our decision; whereas, fear makes us to second guess ourselves and our decision.
Love helps us to be calm and be reasonable; whereas, fear creates a storm in us.
Love enables us to ask questions; whereas, fear doesn't encourage us to speak up.
Love lives in the present; whereas, fear is holding us back in the past.
Love heals a hurt almost instantly; whereas, fear does not forgive and forget.
Among those fears are the fear of getting hurt, fear of losing someone, fear of hurting someone, and fear of commitment.
What is your fear?
So why take a chance to love and not fear?
It's better to try and have a chance at happiness as you only deserved to be happy.
I believe that it will all start to fall into place the moment we decide to embrace love into our life.