Hello? Do you feel loved today? Well, maybe that's because you still see love as an emotion. Love is more than an emotion, it is a language. A language with basic dialects just like any other. Humans are relational by nature, with an innate desire not just to be loved, but to be loved properly. So regardless of whatever relationship you might be in as a father, a wife, a fiancé, a girlfriend or even a sibling, there are at least five basic ways, or languages if you may, that we can express love and get it back in full measure.
Do follow me as we explore them!
Giving and Receiving gifts:
Now this is a very widely spoken love language. Irrespective of culture, ethnicity or language, people exchange gifts as a show of love. However, people react to receiving gifts differently. It shows in how much they cherish those gifts, how their eyes light up when they are presented with them. While others never really forget how this expression of love made them feel, some might not be so enamored with gifts. This however is a pointer to if receiving gifts really speaks your love for them.
Spending Quality Time:
Some people feel more loved when you just sit with them on the couch for a while talking about absolutely nothing in particular, than they would if you gave them the Statue Of Liberty as a gift. Spending quality time does not necessarily focus on the action (gisting, playing games, long walks by the beach and all that) but on the emotions of affection generated by the togetherness. You do stuff together just so you can be with them, and that registers in their mind as you saying 'I love you'.
Helping Out:
Many couples have being on the brink of lethargy because they have been speaking different love languages. A handful of y'all would agree that you do feel more loved when your partner helps out with the house chores like taking out the trash or changing the baby's diapers or even shining your shoes. Little acts of service go a long way to convey how much we love each other. Many a people wonder why their partners still doesn't feel loved after all the gifts showered and quality times spent together. Well you could try helping out with things they would least expect you to do.
Commendations and Compliments:
Ever had a pep in your step because someone gave you a compliment? Or smiled more broadly after getting the commendation you sought? That language is very applicable to our love lives. The effects of our compliments and commendations is what drives our spouses, kids, parents to want to do more, be better. It gives them the belief that their efforts are not unnoticed and that they're getting the credit they deserve. This adds more steem to their love meter. Nagging and condemnations on the other hand, are detrimental and counter-productive. Even if your partner has not met your expectations, a compliment for the little he has done would achieve results faster than condemning him.
Touchy-Touchy:
Finally, the primary language of love for most people, is getting touched. Research has it that people who get touched and hugged more often, develop stronger self-esteem than those who don't. I, personally feel my partner loves me more when she touches me, holds me almost for no reason. It could even be in passing. A little tap on my nose, ruffling of my hair or maybe a playful spank on my butt. Lol. I perfectly understand that language as her saying she loves me. It goes a long way to make me feel more loved.
Now everyone has a primary love language relatable to the ones highlighted and some study of your partner would reveal those languages to you. Speaking the love language peculiar to your kid, wife, boyfriend or sibling, will naturally open them up to you.
How can you determine your love language? It's easily identifiable in how you usually express love to your partner. If you are the gift-giving type, or you are quick to commend and compliment or you like being touchy with others, it is most likely that is your love language and you'd feel more loved if those actions were reciprocated.
Thanks for taking the time to read this. I hope it helps.
Let's make this love go round!