Sometimes I wish there was a heartbreak deep enough to change me. Like I finally met my match that would force me to be a little more protected and guarded. Someone who would hurt me so badly I’d learn to be a little more careful when it comes to matters of the heart.
I always swear when I’m holding back tears and hurt yet again, ‘next time I won’t let someone in so easily. I won’t give them my all.’
I’ll invest just a little bit and play that game you’re supposed to, caring but pretending you don’t. Seeing a message but not answering. Making them wonder how I feel.
If feelings were like a deck of cards and I’d have to keep a straight poker face, I’d lose every time. Even when I think I’m being coy and clever once my heart decides that’s it.
I don’t seem to change.