This message is dedicated to all the people whose relationships have been shaken in the past two months thanks to the Soccer World Cup 2018, that took place in Russia.
Credit: FIFA
Recently I met with a relative of mine. She has been married for more than 30 years now and in the past years the relationship with her husband has greatly deteriorated. "We have never had a sugary type of romance", she confessed. "We had many down moments along the years but somehow we managed to hold on to each other despite the bad times".
She carried on describing, in a sad tone, the current situation and I could feel through her voice mostly, how desperate she felt in the situation. She then revealed, incidentally and without attention, the fact that she has never told her husband that she loved him. Do you understand what it means? Those words "I love you" never came out of her mouth for more than 30 years! She didn’t say that on her wedding day, nor on their first night together, nor during their numerous dates or when they had children – never.
Since I long ago gave up the aspiration or the desire to fix other people's lives or save the world I just listened to her. Later I thought to myself how typical that woman must be. A true representative for countless people who experience a relationship in which they never heard the words "I love you" from their spouses.
Naturally, if one doesn't love one's spouse then it is better not to say those words than telling a lie. I am not talking about those situations. My relative loved and still loves her husband but she has not been able to bring herself to even mutter the words "I love you".
Credit: slideshare
How come people who feel love cannot bring themselves to express it?
The answer, in many cases, is the Ego. Clearly, expressing love to other people exposes you. Your ego then fears that a situation in which your shields are brought down might hurt you emotionally. It fears that your love would be used to mock you, threaten you and ultimately to cause your annihilation.
But it doesn't make sense, does it? Think about it – if you doubt your spouse's reaction, if you fear they would mock you, exploit your love, or tame your purity, then why not check it now? Test your spouse right here right now! Bravely say to them "I love you" and watch for their reaction. How do they handle your pounding heart - with care, compassion, and love or abruptly and rudely? Wouldn't it be better to find out now and not in 30 years?!
Since the ego's job is to protect you and ensure your physical survival it creates mental impedances that inadvertently cause you to remain safe and sound behind the high walls. That way you are protected.
Nevertheless, while walls and fences keep the monster from getting into your reality, they also prevent you from getting out into the world. And so, one is doomed to shallow, dreary and frustrating relationships. They are always battling themselves, wanting to express their love on the one hand while looking for ways to be secured and safe on the other hand.
The problem is that those two cannot live together.
If you want love you must be brave. If you want to receive love you must express your love first.
This is a basic rule in the physics of the world. And why is that so? Because when you say "I love you" to someone you are not communicating with only them. People are not stupid. Most of them are very sensitive too. They have telepathic and clairvoyant abilities - though generally unrecognized – so they know very well if you truly love them or just speak the words. They don't NEED your words. So who needs it? Who needs to hear those words, verbally spoken and firmly stated? Two elements – your body and your soul self.
- Your body's cells bath in the frequency of those words; "I love you" means to them life and recognition. They know that their master – you – loves them, care for them and recognizes their existence.
- And your soul self-interprets the words "I love you" as an invitation to come into your life, to reunite with you, to join its earthly personality – that is you – in the celebration of life.
When you say "I Love you" to someone else, you simply say "I Love you" to yourself. And any great relationship begins with the love to self.
But that is something you already know.
