"At the end of the day what matters is love and memories. So make sure you give it and make sure you make them"
There were many trips in my life that I traveled with my friends or some random people I don’t know. I created great happy memories with them that up to these days, I dearly treasure. Memories that I know I will forever keep within my heart.
However, one day as I was browsing my photo files searching for my duet photo with my mom to send it for mother’s day, I realized that I only have 3 photos with her among those 2,350 pictures I have on my files. I was so embarrassed and saddened with the reality that I spent more time being with other random people traveling around than spending and making memories with my mom.
That’s when I decided to travel South East Asia ones again, this time with my mother.
So, following are my realizations after travelling with my mom
1. My mom deserves to see how beautiful the world is.
There is no one deserving of seeing the beauty of the world but my mom.
My mom is a workaholic. This is either by choice or by force. But most likely, she was forced to work hard because she’s got to feed 9 big mouths. Yes, 9 children. You read it right. She had pulled off various back-breaking jobs in the Philippines and abroad to sustain nine tiny little babies.
She had worked for many nationals in Macau for 11 long years. Her world revolved doing house chores for those people she worked for. She woke up early in the morning to go to her first employer. Wash dishes; sweep the floor, dust the furniture, cook meals and leave for the next employer. She did the same thing. Wash dishes; sweep the floor, dust the furniture, cook meals and leave for the next employer. Then she went to her tiny little one-bed room, rest her aching legs and back sometimes neglecting to eat because of exhaustion. She did this twice or thrice a day for 11 years. You can just imagine. Her world used to be the 4 corners of other people’s mansion.
2. I needed to reach out and understand my mom’s personality
Each person’s personality is molded by his or her circumstances in life.
My mom developed certain personality and characteristics that she acquired through her experiences.
I still remember when she finally decided to come home for good. I and my siblings were excited to bond and spend our time with her. Of course, we never had the chance to actually have a mom physically guiding us as we went through our puberty or the feeling of having our parents during school meetings and so just envy our classmates who are with their moms and dads. We didn’t have that. So you can just imagine how ecstatic our feelings then thinking that we can create those memories now that she is home with us.
However, the excitements lasted just for a week. Why? It’s because our personalities don’t match. I and my siblings are used to our freedom, to doing our things in our own way, and to deciding for ourselves without anyone questioning it. On the other hand, my mom is also used to her independence, to doing her things in her own way and to deciding without considering other people. That is because she had lived on her own for so long.
The following are some of her personalities we had hard time understanding it.
a. I and my siblings can’t grasp her pride. It is just too much that we couldn’t handle.
But I realized she has all the rights in the world to be proud of herself for feeding and bringing all 9 children to universities. She did it on her own with her own instincts and decisions. I could have been more proud if I were her. She deserves a statue.
b. Going to restaurants was always the start of an argument. She always insisted on ordering just one dish, a bowl of free soup and 4 cups of rice for four people. It’s absurd and embarrassing.
(My mom insisted on buying one big loaf bread, free hot water and 1 sachet of instant coffee for 3 of us and 1 bowl of porridge so we could sit..kkk..we definitely saved money for the rest of our trip)
Again, I understand that this became her tendency because she had always deprived herself with food just to put aside money and send for us. She tried her very best to save money at the expense of her food budget. My mom always thought of how much she could send and what things she could buy for us with her little salary.
She’s my opposite. Because I was deprived with delicious food during my younger days, I have always lavished myself and my siblings every time I have the chance. Food has become my comfort. So later on our trip, I ordered all food I wanted not minding her reactions..kkk...she tried her best not to react and just enjoyed the food.
c. She was always serious and didn’t take time to hang around and have fun.
You can just imagine how opposite I am with my mom. I always take things light. I love hanging around for hours and hours even till dawn and especially I love having fun. I still remember when I was trying to be crazy and tried making her laugh..uh oh..she was just staring at me seriously..AWKWARD! kkk…
It was a little hard for her to have fun and take things light because her job didn’t allow her to do that. She couldn’t have fun with her employers and especially she couldn’t make crazy faces with those dishes and furniture she saw every day. Her tiny world didn’t allow her to hang around and be cool.
However, she was loosened a bit and tried to go with the flow. She even enjoyed her short night life in Bangkok.
(I forced her to try even just a sip...I am such a BI, right..kk)
(and now they are enjoying it...they've loosen a little bit..kk)
d. I think she is Ultra Mega Super Obsessive Compulsive (no medical proof though..kk)
Oh men! I thought I had already seen one of the most OC in the world when I was working at a research consultant firm before but no baby no. Not with my mom.
I still remember how I hated staying home every time my mom didn’t go to work. I and my siblings especially my elder sisters couldn’t rest because my mom kept cleaning every tiny part of the house. She almost wanted to scrub the whole house from the floor to the ceiling. I think she literally scrubbed the ceiling cause she made a ladder so she could reach it.
And just recently, while I was travelling with my mom, my eldest sister kept asking me when the flight of my mom home. I didn’t care at first but then she kept asking me to inform her a head of time because she needs to clean. So, one day before my mom’s flight, my sister didn’t go to work for the whole day just to clean and organize the house..hahaha…you can imagine how my mom cares about cleanliness.
Oh one more thing, do you know that every time we left the hotel, it almost looked like it was never used because she cleaned it herself. I was tired kept telling her not to mind. It is in her blood. It makes her happy. So, so be it.
(This was just before we checked out..oha...kkk)
3. To bond and create memories
I grew up without too many memories with my mom. I think I only had 3 vivid memories which I can still remember up to these days. The first being was when she got very upset with me for wasting the water in the dipper. She explained why I shouldn’t be wasting water because some people in the world don’t have water to drink that’s why they are dying. The second memory was when every time we ate, she kept telling us that we should eat every single grain of rice on our plate because if not, the rice will run away and never comes back and we will not have something to eat. It’s funny but I believed that.
The third and the most memorable was when she woke me up in the middle of the night just to teach the spelling of RECEIVE. She was checking on my homework after she got home very late and found a spelling mistake. I spelt the word receive ”R-E-C-E-I-V-E”. So she woke me up just to teach the correct spelling because she didn’t have time to teach in the morning since she was always out of the house at 5am to work. When you are 11 years old, you will never be happy to wake up in the middle of the night just for spelling lesson. I was ultimately mad and threw tantrums. My mind was too sleepy to realize the effort she was exerting just to fulfill her obligation as a mom and a bread winner.
My only hope at this stage of my life is to create happy memories with my mom and my family. Old age is inevitable in our life. Time will come when our muscles and bones can’t support us anymore. Before that happens, I would love to travel further and farther, to have more laughter and to keep creating memories that will last even to my old age.
Life is short, create memories with the people you love.
(haha...now I believe my power of persuasion. I was able to make my mom wear a mini skirt even just for 2 minutes.)
Always make the BEST out of LIFE.
LIFE IS SHORT, HIT HARD!