First thoughts of affection, thoughts of one partner for life and a life for one partner- you want that too?
Second to third-grade dream, failing love. Part One? Too early. It's only playtime, if you're in the schoolyard bushes, it's because the girl/s have you sweep the floor as they play house.
Regardless, well so you decide rather than that to play softball, football, basketball, or anything without notice until WHAM, puberty!
Girls suddenly interest you in no ways previously considered.
Then the possibilities become a barrage that you explore:
Maybe a rescue; the best friend dumped one. It seemed so, not to have been deserved--those don't work out well either. Sooner or later it became apparent that your best friend had many of your values. Values that could not be found in this girl that he AND you just couldn't get along with. It was that social being herself. You might even have liked her but then she had a gaggle of irritating friends, three of them at least!
Then you liked the chummy girl. It turned out fifty-fifty that she would always be a friend. Considered other plans. Tried other plans! But, why did you bother? It just wouldn't fit. Yeah too, also the inevitable complicated it: She liked you!
That other case, a knockout, like you only dreamt about. Her love is out of town. She's not even yours. Because he was your friend too. So you three shared some passions, worked toward mutual goals. Together each of you decided to honor both of the others. You seemed to be building a life inside yourself as well through the time you'd spent with her. You eventually realized that won't go anywhere when they would.
You found a smart gal, too, not a drop dead beauty. But wow! She seemed to really be the one. Full ahead, wide open, everything you did was done for her and you. You perfected yourself for her. Maybe it was one-sided. Yes. It was one-sided. Surely this could not fail. You would not let it fail. A year or three and with all the effort you could muster. Then surprise, it failed and with it it took your heart, your life plans, your life dreams, a bit of your perfection. Yeah. Everything but the innermost part of your very soul was dashed when it failed. You realized that you must go on even as sick as you were. Nobody will ever get this close!
Needless to say, the next two years were predicted by every word of that thought! Nobody Will Ever Get This Close ! ! !
Nothing happened regardless whether even you wanted. It was two years again. Then someone touched deep inside. Pretty too. Even God wanted her for you. Only now she was planning to move to Ohio to college. Her father had a new job to go with. Before she left with her family, you called her, arranged a meet to tell her, thought to tell her how God spoke to you, considered asking how she felt, a little afraid, a lot afraid ...maybe nothing ...maybe the biggest mistake, ever. You met up, face-to-face you couldn't take any chance that you might ever fail her, and you couldn't seem to find the words how to allow her to have shared what might have been. (There was that never this close thing running in there too. Failure wasn't kind.) So, down the drain--it haunted you forever--the life-long riddle. Even God was ashamed of your effort! He seems to have stayed that way. (The riddle was answered some fifty years later: Talk to her. No matter whether you are comfortable, confident, or anything else. Talk to her. If you don't, you'll only work it out later that you should.)
Another very serious blow to Guys' love in life.
Next year, you hung with friends in a basement having good times. There should've been music, not like what other people with you could've heard. A doll walked down those stairs. Shoes, legs, you hardly waited to see her face. Oh wow, she was just wow, way wow! Everything turned for the better for some time. Nevertheless, life had such a way of separating you in geographic ways. Then you moved where she couldn't go--Coast Guard, maybe. Absences made the heart grow fonder for you. You learned another important difference between male and female thought. Males may not have seen the other for years and when they did, instantly everything was just as it was. While with females, however, they may not have seen the other for years and when they did, instantly everything was NOT just as it was, UNLESS, all the time there were systems of constant communications. When a system was insufficient... well, then, there were ruins like your first really serious relationships like distant piles of smoking flames mixed with that annoying riddle! And,
Let's be serious. No-frill good endings sometimes just happen. Enough misery seemed the cause. Or was it a decision? It was a decision. There was no return, just regret. That's you: bothered. Did you just catch something? Not. Played by fire; got singed by fire. Shook it off? Well, you couldn't. Yet where life went, you would follow.
So now you were gone to this new place for a week or so. Kind of a cutie hit it off with you. You held hands a few days. Then it fell apart, without apparent reasons. She probably just found some other guy with hands.
Then again, dang it, maybe it happened again-singed! Again! Same song, different city. You reeled, still. But.
Out of your past, your damsel, you forgot to mention her earlier, she called, distressed. She beckoned desparately needing help. Seemed you should honor that past too. Talked and talked and you planned and planned. Got married. It really should have worked even if not for the very best reasons. Two years later, one more time your life seemed it should have ended. It hurt like the end of your first love. But you were some kind of survivor by then; you would not let a failed marriage let you down like that first love thing. (Never again!)
You didn't notice, but a friend of a friend was someone out of the shadows who eyed you, planned for you, said hello on your bedroom floor with you. Who were you anyway? You missed the pattern: (Crazed woman needed help, leaped over her cliff, crashed the relationship and you felt dead...) ...No? Then thrice more old chap. Multiple marriages, there were.
Then surely that path -- it was lit. Well! So who was the love of your life? Is she with you now?
Or instead, you married with your first sweetheart and filled each other's lives in every way.
Whatever.
Yes. Whatever.
Because whatever it was, it was the love of your life.
When you figure it all out, you decided that The-Love-of-Your-Life wisdom was... Live to love!