Although love is the foundation of any happy romantic relationship, love is not enough. In order to have a healthy relationship, both parties have to be willing to work on it. I will be talking on some important tips on how to keep your relationship strong.
You have to recognize that all relationships have their ups and downs;
just as you can’t expect to be happy all the time, you shouldn’t expect your relationship to be rosy all the time. When you make a long-term commitment to someone, you have to be willing to enjoy the highs, as well as manage the lows together.
Keep the 3:1 ratio
Over the course of a day we have a variety of positive and negative experiences. This is also true when it comes to our relationship with our significant other. Most people think that as long as the positive experiences outweigh the negative, everything is fine. However, this isn’t so. It’s the ratio of positive to negative that matters.
Keep the playfulness alive.
We all love to play, regardless of our age.You need to have fun together; do some ridiculous things together; and just let go.Also the next time that your partner says something that bothers you, try responding in a jovial or friendly way rather than getting defensive in such cases.
Focus on the positive.
Dr. Terri Orbuch has been conducting a long-term study since 1986 on what makes couples happy and strengthens relationships. She advises that couples resolve to focus on the positive. She explains that happy couples focus on what is going fine in their relationship, rather than focusing on what is going wrong.
In addition, if you will call attention to a negative aspect, try to do it in a positive manner. For instance, if your partner is messy try telling them something like the following: “It makes me so happy to come home to a clean house. When things are messy I feel stressed. Let’s come up with a solution together.”
Give your partner some space.
A philosopher called Arthur Schopenhauer used porcupines to explain a dilemma which mostly exists in human relationships. Two porcupines trying to keep warm will move closer to one another. However, if they get too close they prick each other with their spines.
The same thing occurs in human relationships: we want closeness, but we also want space. The key is to find that sweet spot at which we feel the warmth that comes from being in a relationship together, and at the same time allowing each partner to have enough space so that neither one feels like they’re being pricked by the other’s spines (feelings of lost individuality and feeling crowded).
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