There is a theory that states, "the longer you stay in a dark room, the more you loose the appetite for light."
This above quote could be the same case with people who have lived their life being single and emotionally detached for a long period of time. If you are one of them, draw your seat closer let us discuss on it.
Being in love with someone makes you want to be in love the more, it satisfy the intrinsic human urge of wanting to feel loved. It makes you emotionally dependent and sometimes physically too, having the knowledge that someone is there to get your problems solved. Such feeling is amazingly great.
On the other hand, when you spend long period of time single, you loose appetite of this amazing feeling; you become emotionally rigid and unreachable, independent and satisfied, that it takes unique and extraordinary approach to lure the person out, into Love. Most times they appear to be melancholic.
HOW TO REACH OUT AND EARN THEIR LOVE
Let's assume you are a man and you are in love with a woman who happens to fell under this category, do not despair!
These are steps you can take to break her emotional chains:
First learn about, what threw her into such emotional state. Why she fell out of love in the first place and why she has choosen to remain there comfortably. Without having these knowledge, you will only be building castle in the air while trying to get her to love you.
When you must have found out, why she has chosen to remain single, start earning her trust. Make her to believe you understand why she has made the choice of singlehood—if it was caused by pains from her past love experiences, invite her into discussing on those pains
Because she has built a strong independent emotional wall, there's every possibility she will decline your invitation, "dont force it." Allow her the freedom of opening up to you willingly.
The walls of her emotional independence has gained thickness over the long period she has indulged, so exercise patience and tolerance, understanding that it will take time before you can break those thick walls.
When she has opened up finally to let you in, offer your ears. Listen to her with rapt attention, do not judge nor criticise nor correct JUST LISTEN! There are tendencies that any intrusion from you may erect those walls back, rendering your efforts so far futile.
Offer words of comfort and consolation vis-a-vis introducing her to the taste of love again. Do not give her reasons why she should give Love another chance, No don't push her, else she will see you as trying to take advantage.
Be a friend to her first, before communicating your love proposals. Dig in more and mine more of her trust, share your time with her and communicate more.
While you do all these, keep your intentions pure and communicate them in a decent and noble manner.
If you follow these steps meticulously, I asure you, you will ignite the passion of love in her again.