Lovely Steemians,
The majority of people out there think that love is something that is to be found. That one day their imaginary prince or princess will show up and that they will live happily ever after without any problems. Many people go their entire lives and are hoping that one day the love of their lives will turn out like the movie "the notebook" and that it will stay like that forever. Maybe you are one of those people. Maybe not. Either way, this so called love made up by society never happens. This post will tell you why. The answer is pretty simple actually. It is so simple that it can be summed up in one sentence:
Companionate love isn't something that is to be found, it is something that you create.
First of all, there are two types of love
1. Companionate love
2. Passionate love
(The differences can be summed up in the diagram below)
These different loves is based on three different types of things
- Intimacy - feelings of closeness or attachment to another person
- Passion - feeling of sexual attraction to another person
- Commitment - plans to remain with someone for the long term
Passionate love is that kind of love that most people long for and that the majority of people experience. The problem is that most people also think that when they find "the one" the intensity of the passionate love will never change. This is false.
This kind of passionate love will surely always be amazing in the beginning, no matter the person. But as times passes the intensity of the love will decrease. This is something that most people have experienced, even I. In the beginning, your relationship feels invincible. Of course it will last forever. At least it feels like it is going to last forever. But then things change. You start to interfere on each other. His/her laugh that used to be so cute is now something that only gets on your nerve. You fight almost every day. It is not as it used to be. And suddenly, one day, you break up. The relationship that you once though would last forever is suddenly just a memory.
I like to describe the event above as that you get blinded by love. It just absorbs a lot of time for no use. In the end, this passionate love only leaves us with a broken heart. How fun is that?
Companionate love is a love that is based on commitment. This kind of love is deeper than friendship because it is defined by a long-term commitment made by two people. In this kind of relationship, there might not be that same passion you have when you first meet a new person, but there is a deep sense of commitment and allegiance to another person.
This kind of companionate love is the kind of love that I have with my partner. It is a different kind of love that grows every day. Great love like this is just like any other activity. The better you get at it, the less bumpier it gets. To reach this point of unconditional love it will require hard work and dedication. It won't always be easy. Trust me. But if you put in hard work in your relationship, your love will be even better than the love presented in the movies.
To sum it up:
Companionate love isn't something that is to be found, it is something that you create. The question you now have to ask yourself is how you want your relationship to be? I've already chosen. And it's epic.
xoxo
Sandra
If you want to know more about the subject above, or want to know where the picture is taken from, then I strongly recommend the book The Happiness Hypothesis: Finding Modern Truth in Ancient Wisdom.