I do not know where to start, I do not know where to start such stories. I am a young, ordinary girl who has become entangled in her desires, and sometimes, it seems that I have completely stopped dreaming or wanting anything in life.
I have a young man, and as I believe, all my problems and depression are related only to him. We have been together for almost 6 years and our relationship started when I finished school. He is a year older than me. And so, 6 years have passed, but nothing has changed, just passed day after day, week after week, months went by months. At first, probably, we loved each other, but now the feelings are very thin. We no longer cause an interest in each other. We live together as friends. Of course, for 6 years there were many good and bad. The insults that have accumulated in me do not allow me to take it seriously.
I do not want to marry him anymore, I do not want any children from him. I think he does not want this either. I stopped dreaming about a wedding, like all the girls at my age, even about children. More often I began to fear that I would live with him to the end of my days in anguish and with my sad thoughts. Words do not convey my anguish. I do not understand if I love him, or not? I want to be with him or not? But 70% sure that I want to leave him.