Sometimes, it is clearly two people who love each other. When they come together, they are prone to contradictions.
Some time ago, a reader who had been married for half a year Xiaoxia (a pseudonym) talked to me. She felt that her husband no longer loved her, because her husband always quarreled with her about things like she said, for example, she said:
"One time it was because of a sentence, my husband was angry and ignored me. My husband still satirized me in front of his sister and said that I was wrong."
"There was another time, I washed the clothes. After washing the clothes, the washing machine stopped. The door could not be opened. No way, I washed it again. As a result, my husband ran out to see and wash it. When I turned back, I was not honest."
"The last time I wanted to watch his mobile phone, he lost his temper and didn't let me see it. We both had a few arguments. The day before yesterday he wanted to watch my mobile phone. I didn't let it look, and he was angry."
There are many things like quarreling like this.
Xiao Xia said that she did not like to complain before, very large, no matter how others treat her, she is smiling. But since she got married, her husband loves to care about everything. Xiaoxia feels that he is doing something wrong, so he doesn't like to laugh, and he has grievances.
On that day, I suggested that she be generous, more inclusive, and more communicative; she should also be more concerned about her husband’s family, and she should first be clear-minded. Xiao Xia seems to want to understand, she said she "decided to do it first."
I don't know if her recent marriage relationship is handled well, I hope she has a good time.
Sometimes I am also thinking about a question: Why do small things in the relationship can cause huge lethality?
Recently, I found the answer in the TV series "The Flower of the Sea". The protagonists Cheng Hao and Kang Naixin in the play, from knowing each other to loving each other and getting married, soon after the marriage, because of the contradictions, they divorced after a quarrel.
The two people who once loved to die and lived now are parting ways. After the divorce, Kang Naixin worried that Cheng Hao was not doing well, and Cheng Hao moved into the factory after divorce and bought a suite for Kang Naixin. They are not not in love, just "have not gotten a piece, they have to break up."
What makes Cheng Wei feel strange is that they love each other but have to separate.
Cheng Hao said that when we were together, we did not expect to be separated, but when we quarreled, we said that we broke up, and no one could control who. It’s really separated, and the heart is empty. Where is the problem?
A female colleague answered his confusion. She said: "In fact, there is usually no big contradiction between husband and wife. They are all trivial things. If you want to catch up, no one will let anyone. Everyone has to face. The decisions are all against the heart, and no one is willing to give in, they have become a result that makes everyone sad."
After Cheng Hao listened, he felt that this was particularly accurate.
Because the colleague's parents are divorced like this, in fact, her parents are in love, but they are too strong. When two strong people are together, marriage becomes a battlefield. A strong and weak marriage may be the best.
It is inevitable that couples will quarrel in marriage. After quarrel, there must be individuals who make concessions first. Once both sides are strong, it is often easy to scatter.
The defeat of marriage is sometimes not because of poverty, nor because of the third party’s involvement, but because of the trivial matters that have become the fuses for the two sides to quarrel again and again. If the two sides refuse to give in, it is very likely that in one quarrel, one party couldn't bear to make a divorce on the gas, and the other side decided to break up. Finally, it’s not happy.
"Small can not bear to chaos," used in the same feelings, but most people lack patience. Why not take a quiz every time because of small things, as a test. If two people do not handle small things well, how can they deal with the major events that may occur in marriage? Therefore, don't ignore the trivial things in life, those are the touchstones that test emotions.
About the author: Taozixiaobo, tangled Libra girl, loves food and loves code words, believes in the power of words, writes articles with temperature.