To the person who falls in love hard and fast: I feel ya, boo.
Falling in love is my drug of choice. I’m an addict. I literally believe I have a more sensitive response to dopamine and oxytocin that compels me to connect lovingly with other humans. The initial stages of falling in love are so intoxicating, it’s like an opium den for my emotions.
For those of us who love with our whole hearts and give our love away so freely, we often find ourselves with frequent heart wounds that require mending. Even a brief and intense love affair can result in a humdinger of a hurty heart.
So many times I’ve wondered, why must I fall in love so quickly and easily? Shouldn’t I protect myself from the potential pain in some way? Then I meet someone with whom I connect and say, f*ck it, I’m going to love just as much as I want and maybe that love will be returned. Sometimes it is. We tumble down with such speed and force that we get emotional whiplash, one of us usually shouting, “Stop, let me off this ride!”. And then it’s over as quickly as it started, one person left standing with their hearts in their palms, wondering what the hell just happened. Why don’t you want to love me anymore?
I believe we all fall in love (and lust) at different paces and intensities, and those experiences will be unique with each partner we fall in love with. Creating a templated timeline for when and how to fall in love could never consider the nuances of human connection. Hell, we even define love differently. I’m a Grand Passion lover, while others are a Security lover. I want my universe to be rocked when I fall in love, and without such fierceness I quickly lose interest and keep searching for the spark.
Despite the frequency of my large and small heartbreaks, I still stand firmly planted in the camp where love is exchanged very freely. With each small loss, my heart continues to expand. I’m now learning to gauge with more accuracy which humans should be the recipients, but I still want to love, love, love.
Taylor