I never could understand why moths are attracted to the flame when they have a known history of getting burnt up. Is that something to do with their IQ or because it's what they call 'blind love'?
The phenomenon stays a mystery to me. But ofcourse mankind couldn't stand that and named it L O V E. As a scientist I cannot dwell on abstract theories and I had to test it out myself. I started with interviewing bunch of my dewy eyed friends who were supposedly in this thing called 'love'. For confidentiality purposes I am not writing their names, if they see their names up here they'll bury me as I tend to belittle their theories most of the time. Is it because I am an obnoxious arse? No. It's because their theories and their idea of love is not much different from Cinderella, and it's the repetition of the same damn cheesy quotes worldwidely available: "When you get lost in his eyes" , "when you cannot live without him/her", "when suddenly you can't stop smiling, even when you are alone". So I changed my question from 'what love is according to them' to 'why do they love their respective partners' which gave me the following data:
Friend 1: He is so hot, I cannot think of anyone other than him.
Friend 2: She is everything I wanted in a woman and she takes care of me, she is perfect for me.
Friend 3: Because from the moment I saw him, I couldn't think of anyone other than him, I want to give the world, he makes me so happy. I will do anything for him.
This made me think, how on earth can people just say that they will do anything for that person? What is the extent of that 'doing anything'. What if you don't want to share your curly fries with them? I know I don't want to share them with anyone. I love my parents but my house will be no less than Sparta if they ask me for my fries. So I set my first frame of reference: the day I find a person with whom I'm willing to share my fries, I will know that I'm in love. I know that sounds very very stupid but you gotta look from my eyes.
Anyways, their answers only confused me more because if so many people believe the same thing then there has to be something there. Then again humans aren't very different from sheep, they tend to follow a lot. Maybe ages ago someone said "oh my god I love you so much, I can't live without you, you are my life and my whole world and you own me" just to get laid. Seeing that those were older times, maybe he had to marry her and then she told a bunch of her friends about this love thing and it spread like wildfire. WE WILL NEVER KNOW!
Now, a remarkable property of me is 'getting distracted very fast', so I think I spent a week trying to build a time machine of my own in order to go back in time and see the advent of love myself, but I cannot even build a snowman, let alone a complex machine. Crazy right? Ya you make fun of me now but one day you'll be like "oh damn, was that chick right".
See. Distracted.
Moving on. As I was about to give up on the whole thing, I moved to Berlin, found a nice little shared room apartment - girls only. And right when I thought love is a bullshit excuse people use for convenience, used to tie a person to themselves, I met this person. My room-mate. I saw her and I went like "whaaaaaaaaat is happening to my brain". Well, as a chemist I knew what was happening: I was loading up on dopamine. But as a 21 year old girl I was not going to opt for the mature method of ignoring the feelings for a room-mate and move on. Instead I went like "FINALLY I SHALL HAVE AN ANSWER TO ALL MY QUESTIONS". And so I decided not to stop and go ahead with it. Not only because I needed an answer, but also because I have been a straight woman for 21 years and now I see this beautiful girl passing in the halls sometimes, hanging out with me sometimes and is able to stop my heart from beating sometimes. You know, metaphorically.. Bet you are laughing now, seeing me use the cheesy lines that I hated so much! So not only was I falling for someone, but my whole orientation was on a verge of changing. It was a huge thing and my scientific curiosity sky-rocketed. It would be the experiment of a lifetime for me.
Little did I know you ought not to experiment with things like that. Bonehead.
So I wanted to see what happens next, I wanted to experience all those things that my friends and the world talks about. Days and months passed and I experienced that every little feeling that people in love feel, both the pain as well as the happiness. It was like a huge storm hitting me, but softly. I felt like anything was possible. And yes I gave her my fries. All of them. That's how I knew. Joking. I gave her half of them.
So I obtained results of my own as to 'How to know you are in love?' Following are my results:
- Love is a cleansing process. When you are truly in love, not the psycho kind, it will turn you into the best version of you. I was a big spoiled wuss of a girl and now I can proudly say that I am a strong, independent woman. Okay, sometimes I do sleep with my lights on but that's just because I have seen all the Conjuring movies. So don't judge me.
- Love is home. When you hold that person's hand or hug them you feel safe. You feel like you are in your home and nothing bad could get to you, it's warm and comforting. Even though he or she sometimes acts like a cold asshole but know that they love you. Unless it's too much, in that case just dump the freak.
- You will seriously do anything for them because you start to put that person before you. A smile on their face really is enough to make your day. This concept still boggles me, but, well, I did the same so I cannot challenge it. Seriously though, what is the deal with 'doing anything'. Maybe the answer is in Salem.
Well, so now that I went through it, I can attest as a scientist that it exists. It's both beautiful and horrifying. But I think it is the best thing that can happen to someone. I mean, I know it hurts when you breakup with someone. You are like "I hope you rot in hell" , and you question yourself as to why on earth did you ever fall for that person. But dude, you'll get over it. Human mind is capable of fading that crap over time. But do you know what stays? The feeling of peace and content that you had at one of particular moment in that period. Not the person, just a happy memory. Most people would die to feel that once in their lives.
Now, I wrote this post not only to share my thoughts on it but because I know there are a lot of people out there who are lonely, who feel like this is not ever going to happen to them. Well don't be crazy bruh, it will. Fate just doesn't want you to end up with someone like 'the American psycho'. And this gives you time to do things. Like, get the figure you always wanted, learn the things you never had time to learn, go travel, go crazy with new people, hang out with your friend as much as you can, do a good deed, also do something completely nuts, make memories and don't be a sappy and whiny wuss.
Conclusion: love is cool, it exists. The poor moth couldn't help it because it probably thought "my life expectancy is small anyways, so I'd rather die touching my love, die in its embrace, than live without it".
Deep shit. Kay. Bye.
Written by @things, 2016. All rights reserved.
Edited by @sjennon.
Images:
Kyle Koessel on Flickr
Shit I love on Tumblr
Halfpenceco on Etsy