What is it that we all want, do we want security and stability. Those two words can mean completely different things, depending on what your lifestyle is. Depending on what your needs are. We have been led to believe that we have a lot of needs, it seems that the list gets longer and longer as time goes by. We are bombarded with so much information informing us what we need to live healthy and happy lives. Suddenly are lives are so much easier if we have certain things. Suddenly our lives are so much more comfortable if we invest in certain objects. Suddenly we need other people to tell us what we need.
Well maybe not all of us. For some the answer is easy. Some of us see, that all we really need, are our basic needs met in order to survive and thrive, especially on a individual basis. But things get a little more complicated when we bring another person into the picture. When we start to have a relationship with some one, we suddenly find ourselves projecting some of our needs on to them. There was a time when community would help to met our needs, a supportive community that is. But what if we enter a relationship where we place all of our emotional needs, all on one person. When we give ourselves over to that person and expect them to be our partner, our best friend, our lover, our support, our rock. Are we asking too much, are we demanding too much of one person?
I am a mother, my children take most of my time and my energy and it has been like that since I became a mother, that is the way in which I choose to be a parent. Being a parent is one of the most important vocations/jobs/role (however you want to call or identify with it) in the world. I will proudly say that I am a devoted parent, I would do anything for my children, they are my everything. In being that person, I find it hard to find the energy and time for others, and if there is some one in my life wanting my time, desiring my time, I have not always been able to give that to them. So how does that make them feel?
If that person is feeling unloved and ignored what will they do in order to get my attention, in order to make me see them and notice them once again. They will do something that will hurt me and make me take notice. So who is to blame? Who is in the wrong?
This Moon has stirred so much in me, I sat with her for a few hours last night and I made some realizations. I understood that we expect so much of one another when we are in a relationship, that we expect them to be our everything and when they are not, when we have invested so much in to that union and we are made to feel invisible, we lash out. I shower my children with love all of the time, I tell them I love them numerous times a day and vice versa. How does that feel to some one watching, who wants to have some of that love wash over them, but yet never receives it. How does that feel?
We created children out of love, we came together and created them out of an act of love. Yet what happened to that love, where did I let it go? why did I not make time for it, to care for it and nurture it. Being a parent I have realized that I have so much love inside of me, so much to give, we all do. But love does need to be nurtured. I realize now, that, that is something I did not do and now I am the one hurting.
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