It has been a very long week. I'm sorry I haven't written for several days. I've been sick and suffering from withdrawals. Monday I had the stomach flu. Then on Tuesday my doctors office calls to let me know that my RX Lyrica has finally been approved by my health insurance. I've only been waiting for nearly a month. So I was quite relieved and even though I was dragging from being sick, I drove 30 miles one way to go pick up the script.
I have to tell you that I've been taking Lyrica for about 6 months and the RX was paid for through my previous insurance without a problem. But, at the first of the year my insurance company changed and my doctors office has been trying for several weeks to get the RX approved by the new insurance. That being said, I picked up the RX and went to the pharmacy to fill it. The pharmacy tells me that the co-pay on the RX is $198.00! I couldn't believe it! $200 dollars for one month supply of medicine. I had to walk away empty handed. I could not pay such a high price for my medicine. So, here I am with only 21 pills left and I cannot go off of them suddenly. The doctor tells me to start cutting my dosage from 3 pills a day to 2 pills for 5 days and 1 pill for 5 days. He didn't say anything about withdrawals.
I have been sweating a lot, like running down my neck and sticky all over - every pour of my body , hot one minute - freezing the next, anxiety, vision problems and unable to concentrate or think clearly. I am beginning to understand why addicts will go to such great lengths to get their drugs. Not that I would do anything rash to get mine, but I cannot imagine being strung out on cocaine or heroin. It must be a Hell all of it's own. My only consolation is that this will be over soon. I've only got another week.
I felt so bad for my sweetheart, Mr Bob, on Valentines Day. I was such a mess - and there was nothing he could do to help me feel better. He tried so hard to help me be happy. He gave me a beautiful pendant and he tried to cheer me up with a funny book about lovers and the silly things they do to spice up a marriage. All I could do was think about how much I let him down. I had done such a crap job of his gift. I tried to get him something I thought he would enjoy, but it was a total flop. At least there was chocolate involved, that was something worth while. He is so patient with me. This is our 31st year of marriage and I guess we do need some spicing up, but I am soooo NOT spicy. It is heartbreaking to me.
Mr Bob. . . I LOVE YOU! I know I'm not spicy, I know I am going through a very hard time and I am stuck in this very negative place right now, but please be patient a little longer. I hope to be feeling better soon. Thank you for all you do to take care of our family, and all you do for me. The pendant is so beautiful and I cannot wait to wear it for you. Thank you for being such a wonderful husband! You are my strength and my peace. When you hold my hand it clears away all the noise in my head and helps me find calm. You are the love of my life and I don't know what I would do without you. Thank you for sticking with me through this very long week.