Fear of loneliness can be one of the biggest obstacles on the way to the self-actualization, to deep relationship with partner and the whole world around, as well as a serious problem to find true happiness, the very one that is inside of us and does not depend on any external factor.
Nobody told us in our childhood that in reality we are always alone. We come alone, we leave alone, and it depends only on ourselves how full and richly we live the time allotted by God from the first sigh and to the last exhalation.
What is hidden behind the fear of loneliness?
There is no outside person who is guilty of our misfortunes, there are no outsiders and those who can make us truly happy. Real happiness and deep sorrow are all within us, the outside world only restructures the scenery and sends us assistants in pairs so that we brilliantly played the role assigned to us in this performance of life.
Each one of us wants to find love, to enjoy and be happy in earthly life as much as possible, but the paradox is that love, happiness, and pleasure can be found only inside, and this path is slow.
We want to live in love, but for some reason we don't want to start with learning to love. It is much safer to demand love for the Great Self, and, once again not finding it in another person, blaming the whole world for cruelty and insensitivity, complaining about fate, falling into depression and lying on the sofa in embrace with a pillow for weeks. First learn to love, and then build a relationship with someone who wants to give this love.
How to learn to love another, if we are not able to really look at ourselves?
To know the other and the world, we must first know ourself. And in the path of self-knowledge, we will necessarily find in ourselves not the most pleasant side, and when we begin to work on that, we will realize that it is not so easy to be a good person who knows how to love from the heart, and when we understand this, then we will learn to be more tolerant towards our close people.
The fear of loneliness arises when we try to sneak and fill the inner void with something external. We close our own unhealed wounds with some kind of external pleasures, we choose to move outside, because there are so many shiny and rustling beautiful wrappers around us.
New acquaintances, new people, new projects, new impressions, new clothes, new dishes - the novelty effect temporarily saves us from the same unresolved internal problems, we try to occupy all our free time with anything that will allow us not to get acquainted with the real self.
We want to tie a loved one (or several) to ourselves, we want to get guarantees from them that they will never hurt us, if one day they decide to leave us. But how can you hurt someone who has learned to love for real?
Love is what we give, love is what happens inside the heart, what does something external have to do with what's going on inside? Any external fluctuations only help us to realize how stable this feeling is inside. So-called partings and "betrayals" only show us how much heart is cleansed of selfishness.
Do you know how to love, do you know how to forgive, do you know how to live with all your heart and give without want of anything in return? Can you do it? If you know how, then what fear of loneliness can we talk about?
Fear of loneliness is a beacon pointing the course of giving love.
We are afraid to be alone, because we feel deep inside that we don't share with the world, and if we don't share, how will it return to us?
Narrow mind is what breeds fears in our life. Can someone who knows how to give love truly remain alone? Learn to love and give love to the world around, because we get exactly what we give.
If you need love for a full and deep life, then love!
Inspired by the greatest. Dedicated to the best.