They don't understand. I realise they will never understand because they lack the will. In their mind I'm wrong and that's the only conclusion. I smoke weed. I do LSD. I take mushrooms. Occasionally DMT. I've tried ayahuasca. Cocaine. Amphetamine. Hash. Yes. I have tried the homeless life for practical and humbling reasons. But as a rule I do not sleep in the gutters. I have yet to put a needle in my arm. My credit card debt is perfectly calculated and ignorable. That was part of a revolution. I'm not addicted. Mainly I'm not abusing any drugs. I use them. They do not use me. They do not get in the way of my long term goals but rather speed the process up. You drink coffee and alcohol. Pop painkillers and smoke cigarettes. Congrats. You've gotten addicted to the most harmful and boring substances known to man. Yet you judge me. What do you know about LSD? Or weed even? What do you know of my experiences? Nothing. You don't ask. Because you know. You will not listen because you are right. You have been led to believe that what you do is normal and what I do is bad. Never mind potential harm or actual science. It's just bad. You bring it up like you want a discussion. Put me in the spotlight and tell me I'm wrong. When I hit you with facts you respond with emotion. You tell me I'm going in my fathers footsteps. The reality couldn't be further from the truth. Benzo and alcohol is not the same as acid and weed. Paracetamol is not the same ibuprofen. The current legal status of a substance doesn't determine it's potential and effects.
I've pushed hard. Trying to get through to people. They won't listen. Never will. They're right. And normal. I'm wrong. And odd.
It might be true that I have put to much attention on this specific issue. It's controversial to some. Irrelevant to others. Might not play a big part in the revolution as a whole.
What fascinates me about the issue is that its such a slam dunk case. Psychedelic drugs are good for you. There I said it. They're gonna do you good. Develop your mind processes. Help you work out emotions. Bring out creativity. Connect with yourself and others. That's why I wanted to include it in the revolution.
Now I'm realising that in pushing for a new system entirely - trying to legalise anything through the channels of the old system might be completely irrelevant. What's the point? If it happens it's gonna come too slow anyway. Food, housing, transportation, communication - that's important. Maybe I should just drop the issue completely.
Maybe I should go the way my family and close friends claim to be best for me. Move back home. Get a job. Get a girl. Stop with all the drugs. Maybe go back to binge drinking alcohol on the weekends until I throw up. At least that's legal. I wonder though. If I were to do those things, would it make me happy? Would it make them happy? How long would it take until I got bored? Would I live up to my potential? I guess it would be safer. Maybe I'd live longer. Who knows? Maybe I'd finally be considered a respectable citizen of society. Or maybe I'd end up feeling just as trapped as I felt last time. Maybe I'd start remembering all these things I've read, felt and experienced when indulging in my illegal substances. Maybe I'd start thinking that wasn't such a bad life after all. Maybe I'd regret letting go of such immense freedom.
