I came here 9 years ago with a holey billfold.
Felt so far from God I thought I had no soul
Didn't talk to nobody, sat in the cafeteria headphones blazin
I was constantly hating, constantly ate and constantly had anxiety racin.
Looking back at these years I don't know what held me together, guess it
Was my obese fears, my isolation that kept me from developing real tears
My numbness and anti-social facade is what got me here, felt like I
Needed no one, no friends no help, barely made it through school
Felt like I was too far gone to receive help, I was beyond proud
I was a glutton for self punishment guess I needed some help
Depression from Satans well, oh well trapped inside my own cell. Wish I was an A student, screw a nobel, I could barely write my papers Hell Rell, inside myself was an A performer with D results. Got Suspended once and had to take a year off, got a job to take my mind off Than I got weight loss surgery, gastric bypass took a lot of the stress off. Lost 150lbs now I can finally sit in the seats comfortably for 9 years I was borderline stuck in the realms of the seat, much like my mental Prison of self defeat, I was scraping at the bottom, looking at my grades See how close I was at failing I was eat the misery away, maybe Im not
Meant for this, college I mean, almost had to move to Florida if so I would
Have quit, my personal life was in jeopardy, we almost lost the house
And I still had to say the Lord blessing me, interestingly, hypothetically
Intellectually, I couldn't explain my shortcomings even though they were
Right next to me. My self esteem is sharper than any knife, always dissecting me.
Look what Ive become, Im the depression that eats away at becky and ken.
I'm the silence that smothers sheeple, I'm drowning in the nile I was born in.
WW3 officializes with each bar that is spoken within.
I talked about Obama being elected twice, GMOs infesting baby food
Better stick with bread and rice, I talked about Donald Trump winning
But no one was hearing now people are in an uprear and SJWs are now tearing
There's a battle in my head, Im the reason why I agree with Judge Dredd, theres
A reason why I barely pass my tests, there's a reason why I barely have any friends.
My guardian angel isn't here, there's that voice in my ear, there's that doubt that's
Always near, theres that mindset that saying what if I never got here.
I'm background fears that you haven't acknowledged, out of all the pills you take
Your future being alone is the hardest to swallow? This is why your hollow!
Your falling into your own spirit full throttle! With every therapy session
Coming back on you, everyone at school you ever pushed away it's starting to
Eat up your day, the lack of human interaction is mental subtraction
I unforgivably ran out of reaction, guess Ill never be scholastic Guess Ill always be a spiritual bastard….