This is going to be heavy......but in German if I say "Heftig" that would mean that it's going to be amazing.......sorry couldn't help but being a smart ass today. As confusion is the greatest way of undoing delusion yet at the same time the cause of many misconceptions based on supposition of identity.
Going too fast are we, well I haven't been speaking English for the past two hours and been solely focusing in German, and the jealousy between the desire of the Lingual entity of English to travel into a medium like its other brother has been confusing my ability to study German, as the more you deal with a language the more it becomes intrusive in your life especially if you are planing to learn a new language.
Funny thing this metaphor to a story can apply itself to many habits we start picking up and how other habits seem to command importance with any form of story so that you don't keep on with picking up the new habit, be it learning German or going to the Gym or eating healthy, etc. This also applies to interpersonal relationship, keep up or drop out comes to mind but that is not necessary as for example for a language to speak of certain stories in your mind you would have have to involved it in stories or paradigms of that sort you would think about with it.
For example, in my case; Arabic; my supposed mother tongue that I barely speak due to the beneficial cultural invasion of the west to give the Arabian conservatism a libido kick into a libertarian state of thinking . To escape the Arabian story that I currently only hear through the concept of religion and other supportive stories be it either rebellious or faith giving; "they both serve the same cause.....to keep the child within the cycle of belief in need......before we end this quotation let me just add this, this is not necessarily good or bad but rather heavily dependent on the individual and the discovery of his/her individualism through experience"
Now what do I mean by all this, well during a ritual the magician starts the ritual by doing a banishing ritual, the banishing ritual is to detach from information prior to the ritual so as activate his/her desire for the goal so as to move it from an idea perceived in the mind to a desire wanted by the heart and to convince the body with all of its language to go get it. So you can consider the previous as an act of banishment if you would not like to ponder what I said so that you can discover how you can discover yourself by understanding the languages you chose to speak and which stories did you choose for those languages to talk of in your thought process. And in this ritual if you started to ponder this is the part of the ritual where you instead of allowing the idea to become a desire you held onto it by the possibility of understanding without experience thus leading to assumption which is a highly carcinogenic organ of thought if not balanced out with tangible experience thus leading to the over oppression of its sister paranoia. In this part of the ritual you see we are still banishing and in this part we are banishing what we assumed our perceprtion as by demonizing an act so as to assume power over it so we can move forward with the ritual......okay fine fine, has the desire been created to know what I am going to talk about or is it still an idea?
Yesterday we spoke of the (Who are we? could it be just me writing things down and by me saying we I am imposing that you participated with action thus inducing belief through expectation, or am I just asking this question to pretend I know something that I don't could this be act an assumption or could all knowledge be an assumption of circumstance based on perception of experience?)
Now could you have guessed what demon am I dealing with here?
The demon of language, when language tries to wear great suits and clothes just to show itself better than other languages and thus instead of talking about the subject I am going to talk about I end up endlessly talking about language as I said earlier I have put the supposition that language as a hero for this story is a jealous entity and wants to show itself more than the other languages, like great britain wanting to take over the world, is it real that the land has no name then why do we call it after the language spoken on it?
Thus in such cases we work with an entity stronger than language and that is the entity of negotiation and in this part I make a deal with language to tell a story where I work with language so that it's word could be spoken and what I want to say could be relayed.
And that part of the ritual we call this evocation as the demon of language has been evoked and his name was thus given and deal was struck.
Once upon a time......wait a second this fucker is going to tell another story about me (in the brackets from here in after since this spirit decided to come in the story and lead the narration I will add my interpretation of what it is going on.....here what is going on is a state of possession no not the one where you see black eyes and all that its much more dangerous and much more subtle) Okay I am the uncle of that kid you read about yesterday and allow me, well fuck your allowance, this kid used to lie more than lawyer in a court, I helped become what he was at that time, he didn't know how walk to the streets I helped him walk the streets and know his way back home, I never seen a kid who loved me like this kid he loved me more than my mother loved me and you know how furious would that make me, you know how hard it is to deal with love, this kid is anything but perfect and the more I look at him the more I see myself, I see myself at a time where I was going to have a life that now I can't have because I was overpowered by my own flesh and blood, yes I can consider him my boss sometimes but he is certainly a cunt, and an ungrateful one to.
Same with this family I never got married and when I almost might have found a way to fall in love my brother comes out of nowhere and tells me all what I am doing is wrong all what I am doing is going to get me to hell. I see this kid, I see myself susceptable, I love him yet I hate myself in him and I have no wishes now except to make him like me, I don't want to call it an act of revenge as I honestly don't know myself, I only know what I have been told by others about me, from an aggressive father to an aggressive brother my emotions have been dwarfed and when I see a dwarf who looks like me how could I resist getting to see the emotions that I have blocked out for so long to see it come out through him.
I remember walking him through the streets he would look at me as if I were his father, and I would get angrier and angrier.....stop crowning me with that which I have no authority over but my conscious mind couldn't comprehend the unconsciousness of that child I just purged the thought and communicated it as hate for his choice to lie or his lack of vigilance or his excessive trust in others. I saw him and I felt fear so I assumed the possibility of his greatness but honestly that greatness was the great desire I felt to become this child to go back in time and change my decisions and in his eyes I saw guilt and that guilt was mine, my guilt of not taking those decisions buying myself some time on this earth, buying myself sometime away from my brother and his family who crowned me father over his sons and then his sister wants me to be crowned as father for this child too, at what price, at what price at the price of having a life, at the price of me having a family of my own, my blockage is your blockage and our codependency is the act of that which we failed to communicate my beautiful has been conquered by demands of the old and the only honest advice I gave this kid "do the right thing for the right reason!" "if you don't like reading, don't read, if you don't like doing something don't fucking do it" This was my key to him or as the germans would call it Die Schnell ( this is the part where the transmission of the possession is cut and the click is the change of languages in transmission)
Now the narrator comes back to the story, slowly taking the lead and realizes that by relation does the emotional connection gets cleaned up from what made the direction of the idea from the mind so heavy thus its perception as a heavy memory while in the fact the intent was very simple, the intention was to learn a new language in this case and what seemed to have slowed down the process was the investment of fear in memory rather than desire in the possibilities learning a new language can open up. This is how you cultivate desire, either by freeing it from fear or convincing yourself with its importance.
Now let's keep it simple, as I said in yesterday's episode (this in the part of the ritual we call grounding where we come back from the process of channelling and clearing of the proverbial pipes; the author coughs upon writing this could this be proof for it working)
If you are not holding a pen and a paper and writing down your inspiration save yourself the hassle and make your thought binary as inaccurate this might seem this will help you take much less time in making decisions,the model below is a circumstantial study of self based on binary thought and its continual state as zero is followed by one and one is followed by zero so one pole follows the other to balance its effect out though the perception of negation.
Perception----------Circumstance---------Perception
Fear-------------------Action-------------------Desire
Assumption-------Inaction------------------Knowledge
Ally------------------Spirit----------------------Enemy
Fear-----------------Suggestion--------------Desire
Loathing-----------Self------------------------love
Distraction--------presence-----------------focus
Isolation-----------communication--------openness
Now in the name of supposed wisdom and its currently perceived definition; the selective choice of following an opinion with action based on selective choice of experience and selective choice of relevancy. Wisdom is selection be it beneficial or not.(this act is calling on a powerful entity more powerful than the speaker to guide it and aid it through the acquisition of the goal and in this case the speaker is using a word that is seldom investigated by the listener and thus its ability to penetrate his conscious mind right into the unconscious flow of emotion where the listener assumes identity of that word and in case of ritual the speaker is the listener, unless spirits are attracted and then we enter the world of superstition in the name of tangibility but that is a longer story for another conversation.....told you it would sound confusing and that was another intention)
How to work with this model;
For example....beispeil ( in this case the use of a foreign language an act the magican does in ritual to bipass the process of thought to deepen the state of gnosis) if you are in a social circumstance and you are stuck in your head rather than talking to the surrounding and you are investigating their intentions and yours this is called an act of isolation if however you are talking to them and hearing what they are saying and not only that but actually listening that is an act of openness the act of refreaining from participating in isolation or openness which lead to each other in a cyclical way.......try having sex in public then having it in the privacy of your bedroom and you will fully understand what I mean.
From here lets close this ritual by posing this question......is idenity a result of language or a result of perception of possessiveness of a mode of action and desire.
Tschuss!
Tut mir leid ich kann mir nicht helfen!
May no order hinder you
May chaos be your authority!
The painting done by my hearts desire and longing Antje Bischof
