Why do we get participation trophies?
Easy bump of Satisfaction
Empty victory
How are you giving yourself participation trophies?
Staying busy for the sake of busy or are you actually taking steps to go forward?
Finding other things to do than what needs to be done.
Buffering
For example, watching porn is you taking the participation prize instead of actually building the connection with your wife so that you have that much-wanted intimacy.
How are you taking the participation trophies of life? How are you going to stop? let me know in the comments section below.
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Summary
The episode argues that many people, especially men, settle for metaphorical “participation trophies” in their relationships instead of putting in the hard work required for a truly fulfilling relationship. Just like kids getting participation trophies in sports for merely showing up, adults give themselves participation trophies in relationships by engaging in avoidance behaviors and buffering techniques like drinking, watching porn, playing video games, etc. instead of doing the emotional labor to build intimacy.
The host says these participation trophies in relationships provide an “empty victory” and hollow satisfaction, preventing true growth. For example, watching porn is the participation trophy instead of putting in effort to foster emotional and sexual intimacy with one’s partner. Drinking after a hard day is the participation trophy instead of having a real discussion about issues with a spouse.
The host urges men to stop settling for these relationship participation trophies. Instead, put in the work like pursuing personal growth, having vulnerable conversations, doing activities to nurture the relationship, etc. – which leads to the true “win” of a rich, fulfilling partnership. Giving up the participation trophy mindset and buffering behaviors is hard, but necessary to achieve relationship success beyond just going through the motions.