Instead of getting used to saying offensive words to your partner every time why don't you just try something new...? Like try saying some really nice words to your spouse even though you know you don't know how to be nice neither can you even pretend to be nice. No problem about that, I understand that you were probably born that way (not knowing how to be nice) but just learn to say nice words to your spouse and to other people and you would have become nicer than the nicest person ever known.