I grew up in a home where there was no washing machine, no such thing. My Mom was old fashioned, we always had to take care of our laundry the traditional way - with our hands.
She taught me how to wash women's clothings, sometimes she'll throw her bra into a bucket of hot water with some detergents and say "boy, let it soak for 10minutes and wash it." Oh yea it was crazy, and I am not shy about this, I learnt the art of washing a woman's bra from my mother, she taught me how a woman's bra is quite different from other underwear, washing a bra is not the same as washing a dress, too much squeezing slacks the edges, there are key areas of focus when washing a bra, like the edges right under the arm and the bust, and that bra's are meant to be washed regularly, one at a go, with a different water for each wash, do not squeeze, just dry, same thing with a woman's panties.
I am not trying to give the uncles some effective bra washing lessons, I'm just trying to show you how deep my mother took me growing up as a kid, and like I said I am not shy to reveal these things, not now, maybe back then when I used to be like "what! Why do I need to do these things when she can do them herself? This is punishment." She was always insisting I do the bulk of the chores, even when we had a paid maid living with us, which i found 'wickeding', I never knew mama was teaching me how to be a good husband, and how to treat my wife right.
She planted a strong mentality within me, "never let a woman do more when you're around" she would always say. So she entrusted me with the duty of adding the right quantity of maggi, pepper and salt in the soup while she cooks. It is not also easy to forget that the responsibility of stirring the soup was also mine. We shared the task of pounding the crayfish, many times I had to run home early from school to steam the meat and wait for her to get back from work and decide what to cook with it.
"Never let a woman do more when you're around." - this kept on growing inside me.
I remember one Saturday morning I woke up at 6am and made breakfast for her in bed. It was fried plantain and some angry looking eggs with a cup of tea, although half of the plantain was burnt, but I can still remember the look on mom's face when i woke her up to a burnt offering in a tray; Priceless. Never let a woman do more, and it stuck to me.
My mother always insisted i wash her cloths rather than the maid, and I unconsciously grew up with it. I never let her wash her own cloths when I am around, funny how she'll always pile them up for me, but the beautiful thing about this is the fact that she never let's me wash them alone, while her son washes, his mom rinses and dries them off, shared duty. Not only was she teaching me how to be a good husband, she was also teaching me what to expect from a good wife -- she never let's her man do 'the more' alone.
No lies guys, even until this moment I never let her do anything when I am around, it hurts me to see her lift a bucket of water, let alone wash, not when I still have hands. Sometimes when I call that I am coming over to the house I know that she searching her bedroom for dirty cloths and heeps them for me, her son is coming over, and when I get there I take off my fancy suit, roll up my sleeves, and bend down to wash till the last one, with so much joy!
Well, with all her kitchen lessons I still don't know how to cook wonderful meals, my fried plantain still comes out looking like burnt offerings, but I know how to never let my woman do more when I am around, and even when I am away I'm always thinking 'how can I help her reduce the load.'
I know how to help out in the kitchen, I know how to put the right quantity of salt and maggi to taste. I know how to pound the crayfish and how to slice the vegetables, wifey needs not worry about that because my mother taught me how to be a good multitask partner. I know how to steam the meat before she comes home and decides what to cook with it. I could stop by the market too on my way home from work and get the ingredients, I know exactly what to buy, and I am not too shy to ask around the market for the ones I might not know.
I know how to be a WIFE when she's too strong to do it. I know how to get out of bed early to make breakfast for her and the kids. I know how to treat her clothing, I know she can trust me with her undies when she's indisposed to do it herself, I know how to wash them real good as much as I know how to deliciously take them off her waist 😍😍. I know how shared responsibility makes marriage easier, I know how to tidy up the kitchen while she sets the dinner table, I know how to be a good husband as well as I know how to treat a good wife.
MORAL LESSON ONE:
I wish more mothers could teach their sons how to be good husbands the same way they are focused on teaching their daughters how to be good wives. The marriage equilibrium will never be balanced if the wives know what to do and the husbands know nothing. Men need to be taught how to give as much and even more than they recieve. And even though it seems like some of our parents have failed in this area it is our responsibility to teach ourselves how to love, and to teach our own children too.
