Love Not WWE
Marriage is cohabitation of a female and male in close circuit. It is the legal union of two different persons coming together as husband and wife. These persons always have different exposure,orientation, sometimes, if not all times,have parallel religion, believes, values, tradition, customs. There developmental background or perhaps to out in a well lucid way,society could be different.
Coming together as one could be more challenging due to due to different developmental background, society, family ,norms,exposure,orientation and likes. Of course this will generate conflict at home incessantly or intermittently. * it is against this background,the hunger for * marital crisis,but my piece will through weight on DOMESTIC VOILENCE OR better put in all modesty, Battery
Battery
premeditated act inflicting injuries,physical hurt on one's legal partner, it can be said to be unlawful aggression or touching the person of another by the aggressor himself .
According to *** Marriage Mission InternationalMost people think “abuse” is just physical attacks such as hitting, punching, kicking, pulling hair, twisting limbs, pinching, slapping, biting, etc. There are many other type of abusive behavior which hurt just as much or more than physical abuse. Just because an abuser stops hitting spouse doesn’t mean he has stopped being abusive. Furthermore, it doesn't have to be only physical contact but any form of : throwing things, banging inanimate objects, slamming doors, squealing tires, stomping around, making threats, shoving, restraining, cornering, or yelling down, all carry the threat of physical harm ***
Forms of Battering
Well different folks with strokes, my piece of research will be in afri-western point of view which allow constructive criticism. For me, is not only pinned to hitting one's legal partner. It could be premeditated or unconsciously,verbal or non-verbal.
1.Premeditated Battering
Another word for "premeditated" is "organized"," deliberate". In simple words,premeditated battery is a deliberate attempt to hit one's legal partner or inflict physical pains. For instance, some men,having come across a new mistress( "side-chick"....as it locally called) will become hostile to their wives. They believe she is weak,unkempt,rude,and too urgly. Perhaps, belief their wives are the cause of their misfortune or ill-lucks. Therefore, they device means to evict their wives. Battery becomes necessary tools to chase her out.
2 unconscious Battering
Of course we are not perfect. We are human. This could hardly happens but exceptional cases, is that some men have natured to scold their wives but they don't know how to go about it. Some take spirit purposely to hit their wives ,while some wait for slightest provocation to let out their beast. Men that fall in this category or exceptional case,apologized or cuddle their wives.
3 Verbal Battering
If you grow up in African society especially Nigeria,you will understand that some parents do not hit their children. What they do is to tell you unforgettable things that will linger in your heart always. In fact,most of us who fall in this bracket, if not all,will be moody and reminiscence through out the day. If care is not taking,one can commit suicide as the last resort. This is also peculiar in marriage, some men hardly hit their wives,but they drop some jaw-breaking words that can make their wives commit suicide. Most of this pops up from argument, leads to shouting.
4 Non physical contact Battering
This is peculiar to the western sphere. 20% of men in western words hit their partners,some argued and forget it,while some,very few,through things around,spoil their room appliances,car,infact set something expensive ablaze, got drunk in the process.
This certainly will turn the family to little flashpoint of havoc,depression and possible lead to separation if it continues.
Some of these points are indices and pointers that could lead to severe physical contact or hit.
Causes of Battering
There are innumerable causes that can lead to battering but few will be mentioned.
1 inscurity or jealousy
It is a complex emotion that entails feelings ranging from fear of abandonment to rage and humiliation. It strikes both men and women and is most typically aroused when a person perceives a threat to a valued relationship from a third party.
It shows lack of possession of something of worth values. It enbreeds envy and insecurity.
A man or woman who cheats can turn his/her to "war zone". No man or woman wants to a flirt. Though,sometimes, some men are always not comfortable seeing their wives hanging out with old male friends,men find it insecured. Such relationship is tagged " hmm....what is going... " such thing is applicable to woman to seeing their husbands hanging with old female friend or colleagues. They feel insecured. This could turned a peaceful home to relatively " royal rumble steel cage wrestling ".
2 Cheating
One of the greatest pills to destroy marriage is cheating and this of course leads to lies and bartering. No man or woman wants a " cheater".
Cheating is dishonesty,deception against one's partner. Well,some believe,* " it is men's world to cheat.* often time,men do the cheating but a woman who does that in African is said to be "evil, and murderer". No one wants a cheat.
3 Superiority complex *
The question of * who is who ? Who pay the bills? 80% of men in African do not want to be questioned when domestic decisions are made. We tend to assume the position of I am the boss. I am in -charge...I decide what goes out and come in but women with great exposure understand making domestic decision afterall affect them more then the man who makes it. Typically,most women who are abundantly industrious and wealthier are hardly accept that men superiority complex.... They don't take it rather they pick up a brawl and raise issues. Most especially when they are the bread winner of the family,though some are humble.
4 * Coming from Poles*
Couples from different nationalities, and ethnics are more often face challenges. They find it hard to understand their civilization, language,tradition,norms,values and customs.
5* Religion Colouration*
on my way home from office,I met my neighbour outside at the pub,I asked ," man,what are you doing here,...replied, "my wife is praying and her voice is too intense with the praise and worship....you know she attend Mountain and Fire Miracle..... Oh I remembered the husband is a Muslim. I left him with the bottle of beers. Two hours later ,he came in but still found the woman with the kids in the mode of worship and praise,he quickly protested and stopped it. The woman refused to comply. The man was tensed and angry. After few minutes to 10 :00 pm ,he could not condone it, as he called " act of noncompliance spirit. He shouted her down with slap. And that ended the worship.
This is not only case scenario, African men believe that children's faith or religious activities are decided by them not by their mothers.
6Laziness
Domestic chores should be " division of labour". 
7 Nagging
This is repeated words, actions ,statement or sporadic complains. It is irritating and repulsive.
Often time, female partner naggs to correct their men or trying to pass out key information. Average men do not like a nagging woman. It makes us feel unpleasant. Some men who can't tolerate it frequently hit their wives either snub ,hit or excuse them.
8 * Poverty*
Inability to provide the basic needs for the family such as food, clothes and shelter. There cannot be peaceful co-extistence especially in a country where there are no free healthcare, education and monthly stripends. Some women in this case,go out of wedllock into extramarital affairs to feed the family. In fact,this causes alot of vices. When a woman starts doing what a man should do, them it becomes the clash of the titans. No woman wants a liability as husband. Men must not be "sit- at-watch-the news"
9 * Intolerance*
My father used to say ,** if you want a pet in your living room, learn how to tolerate it. You can't be a nanny without tolerant otherwise you will hit the kids in your care except you have chosen the bar and Walls to live for the rest of your life. **
10 The wildlife
I am referring to individual who goes angry in slightest provocation. They are like petrol and fire. They go up and up in furnace till whole place turn out to ashes and smoke.
* Effect of Battering*
1 * it leads to separate home*
2 * sudden death *
3 * pain and injury*
4 Depression
5 it increases the believe that power can be taken by force
6 * it leads mental disorder*
7 * it leads to permanent physical damages*
8 it increases the level of violence behaviour
9 * fear to be in matrimony*
10 * it increases the level of insolation from the part of the abused person*
11* on the part of the children, they indulged in abusive relationship*
12 on the part of the children, it leads to disorientation
13 it affects the educational performance of the kids
14 * it could lead to jail term*
15 * Brain damage*
Prevention And Control
1* Be prayerful to God for humanely peace-level in your homes*
2 * Stay faithful*
3 * start telling people when your partner hit you*
4 * Visit a counselor*
5* Be tolerant*
6* Even if you have issues at home, don't display your feat at the presence of the kids*
7* Walk away politely when issues are popping out *
8 * There should be a flow of communication*
9 * Read literatures on matrimony*
10 * Reduce nagging most men can't tag along with that habit*
11Understanding your partner is the key
12 * Stop taking excessive Alcohol*
**
Above all,
The key note is that,there is never a peaceful matrimony or illegal or legal co-existence recorded in pages of history. It is always petting- love--lovemaking -merriment -tonguelashing-daggers and wars not even Pastors ,Muslim clerics can promise you that. But in most cases,we must live as one. We must be civic in our dealings. Women are not punching bags,they are humans. Women are fragile. No perfect women or men. We nature them like a seedling. **
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