Some years ago, It often sounds in my heart, a saying by my Uncle "Marriage is not for small boys." I'm always scared as this statement means a lot to me. I used to ask myself, when will destiny turn me a BIG MAN to be due for marriage? Early 20s? Late 20s or More?
Then I was fortunate to listen to a radio programme, although I didn't start the programme with the anchor, but I met some core parts which answered my long awaiting question. Guess what? That's what I will also be sharing here today.
Are you ready for a marriage? Do you wish to have a fruitful marriage? Is your home a hell? Or you just part ways with your love, you are about to witness the irritating part of marriage? Then, I will say this is for you Sir and Ma.
This woman claimed to have witness her successful journey for 47 years, amazing right? Meaning she is an Old woman already.
Are you out of marriage, how did it happen? Will you ever marry again, then your comments are welcome in the box below this article.
The Anchor asked:
Sooo, mummy! what is the secret of that over 47 years worth of sweet, because I think if it's not sweet you would have quit long long time ago.
The woman replied: In marriage?
YES! The anchor replied...
In the sound I heard from the radio that cool morning, I was sure the woman exhales and gave a long reply.
My son, I heard you said sweet, but hell NO as it was not sweet all through, isn't my face resemble that of a woman who had passed through a lot? Just joking but it has not been easy as you thought.
Mostly among we ladies who are ready for a marriage, the expectations we bring into marriage either spell its doom or success. This is not months before the August occasion, but we have always turn it a dream that must be achieved.
I married my husband without any expectations of enjoying his money or buying cars for me, but with time, my patience, hard work and God-fearing attitude yielded good results of getting these worldly things as you can see I drove in my cute baby (Lexus Jeep, is a baby? Mummy, please don't intimidate me. Wow, I have really got a lot to learn today, I love the introduction), the Anchor laughed it out.
Everyone knows it is not easy taking care of children, you might also have experienced such, as you would be the next parent when your mother is away.MUMMY
The Anchor antagonized, mum, I didn't, I'm truly the last born of my patents.
Ok, let's go on with our discussion. OK Ma.
You see, if a married lady keeps on nagging in the house, she will end up push ing the spirit of her husband away from their home. If you make the man unhappy, you make the house uncomfortable.
So, I married without high expectations from my husband, I mean emotionally this time around; but simply to make him happy always.
Yes! For the past 47 years, I will say I've been the first to get up from bed and the last to go back to bed. I bath the kids, do devotions with them, prepare breakfast for my husband and boil hot water for him to bath. I iron his clothes, kiss him while preparing to be out of the house and wish him the best in his daily endeavours.
MUMMY
Exclaimed the Anchor, and he asked, I'm sorry to say this ooo, so, then what does he do in return? She laughed all heart and heartily replied; You see, this is one of the mistakes you young ones of today make in marriage.
YOU DO SOMETHING FOR YOUR HUSBAND OR WIFE IN EXPECTATION FOR SAME REWARD FROM HIM OR HER, AND I WILL SAY, THIS IS WRONG!
When it becomes your attitude or habit to please your husband or wife always, the other person responds naturally. Indeed, if nothing touches the palm tree, it doesn't rattle. Although, there are some men who do not return this, I don't know what has come over such men, but if it happens to me back then I will consider him a depressed human being who needs my help, rather than picking up a fight.
MUMMY
She continued...
My Son, never carry along "how rich or poor your family is" into marriage. After all, you knew very well the status of your family and decided to get married to that same man or woman.
Love only compels/leads couples into marriage but it doesn't sustain it, my thought as you children of today might have another meaning for love or antagonizing points to my statement. You might be right, but I will say this is a piece of wisdom from an Old woman.
However, Understanding, Patience, Acute Communication and most importantly, Forgiveness are the vital tools to sustain every marriage.
Permit me to say this again! High expectations are the symptoms of divorce in marriages. This is applicable to both sides.
MUMMY
Imagine a man who wish to marry a woman like his mother, then tell him he is better getting married to her mom, although it's an abomination I know you would never try to endorse.
Sometimes you hear, I want to marry a mother, a business partner, God fearing person etc. Man, get off these illusion. You cannot get all you want in one person. MUMMY
Variation is Real, if you are unsure please, study your Biology again.
With time and zeal to have a peaceful home, depending on your relationship with each other, some of these illusion might be achieved.
So, I will urge you minimise your expectations in marriage.
To cut the long story short, as too many cooks spoil the broth, she concluded on the mistakes every couples should resist at all cost in marriage:
- Never say you have made your wife or husband SOMEBODY from a NOBODY. It hurts. God only used you as an agent for transformation, give the glory to God.
- Give the man a chance, let him be the head of the home no matter the financial, economic, physical, emotional, and health situation prevailing in the husband's life whilst the wife exercises patience in the use of her tongue.
MUMMY
Although we are in the modern era, but I will urge you try the Old Golden Era in shaping your family. Lol...
- Having children should not be the ultimate objective in a marriage. They are given to enhance your marriage. When God delays in giving you a child, have every reason to live a happy marital life.
- Sex is a major morale booster after a hard day's stressful life. Try to be sexual beings and not "Angels," in that marriage, no pretence.
- Resort to God often and less to men to help you solve your marital disputes.
- Let the women " Make up" their characters much more than they make up their body.
And, finally I will attest to the fact that, Indeed, marriage is not for small boys because small boys struggle to forgive, demand everything speedily, lack the patience to wait, have so many friends etc. MUMMY
So, I will say don't rush into this deep sea, but be courageous to pick up the quest when you are old enough to do so.
And the Anchor called it a day by thanking the woman, and added
"You both make every effort to let that marriage work and may God help you."
MUMMY
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Take care, kuboskeey loves...