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Let marriage be held in honor among all.
— Hebrews 13:4
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In any language, any culture - marriage is BIG. It's a big leap, it's a big decision.
But once you've found THE ONE, marriage is no longer a difficult decision to make. In fact, it would be a dream come true. However, marriage is not exactly for everyone. It's not just beacuse you haven't found the one person you would like to spend the rest of your life with, but it's if you're with the WRONG person and settle.
We all know who to avoid. Addicts. Abusers. Chronic Liars. Nut cases. Violent Villains. Radioactive Aliens. But the real danger lies in still pushing through the red light and push through with the wedding or marriage despite knowing you're with someone who is obviously wrong for you. Why? Because of the following wrong reasons…
1. I might be single forever.
It’s the last bus syndrome. A woman told me, "I think this guy might be my only chance to get married.” Remember the joke about what women want in a man? Women in their twenties want a man who is handsome, intelligent, and rich. Women in their thirties want a man who is intelligent and rich. Women in their forties want a man who is rich. Women in their fifties just want a man.
But that’s not reality.
Because marriage is not the secret of happiness. I remember talking to a guy who told me, “My wife and I have been happy for 25 years. And then we met.” If marriage is for you, your bus will come.
Last month, my friend sent me a wedding invitation. She’s 57 years old.
But the marriage bus is not your only trip to happiness. So if the marriage bus doesn’t come, get a cab, or Uber, or ride a plane. Either way, there are many ways to happiness. I have a battalion of single friends who want to get married but they’re extremely happy with their lives and won’t have it any other way. If they don’t get married, they’ll be disappointed but that won’t stop them from living life to the max.I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again: It’s better to remain single than to be married to the wrong person.
2. I don’t want to hurt him/her.
One guy told me, “My girlfriend loves me very much. She said she’ll kill herself if I leave her.”
That’s not love; that’s blackmail. (It’s now syndicated blackmail because it’s so common. I’ll be a rich guy if I get one peso for every man or woman who’s told me this line.) Usually, the reason they give me for staying in the relationship is, “He needs my help. If I won’t help him, who will?”
My answer: Romantic partners, because of the complications involved, are not the best helpers. Pray to God to send others to help him. He will.
3. Everybody expects us to get married.
I remember a girl telling me, “It’s so embarrassing if we break up. Because the entire office knows that we’re a couple.” I told her, “Your officemates are not getting married to your boyfriend. You are.”I know of a woman who, one week before the wedding day, cancelled her wedding. The wedding gown was ready, the reception was paid for, and the invitations were sent out. And it wasn’t the case of just marriage jitters. She actually discovered that there was something wrong with the guy. And she had the ability to say, “No, I don’t want to be miserable for the rest of my life.”
4. Marriage will make him/her better.
Nope, it won’t. Marriage is a magnifying glass. It will magnify what’s already in him or in her. Remember what I said: What is, will be. The time to solve major character problems is before the wedding, not after.
5. We did “it” already.
You can’t correct a mistake with another mistake. If you fall, you don’t stay lying down in the dirt. You stand up, brush yourself, and walk on.
6. I’m pregnant.
A priest once told me, “Many young couples no longer say, ‘I do,’ but, ‘I did.’ Because the bride is already pregnant. And 100 percent of the time, I tell them, ‘Don’t get married now. Stop rushing. You’ve rushed the pregnancy already. Don’t rush the wedding.Wait for the birth of the child. Think about it seriously.’”Ninety percent of teenagers who rush into marriage because of a pregnancy don’t work out.
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This excerpt is taken from How to Avoid Jerks and Jerkettes… So You Can Find God’s Best
Author: Bo Sanchez.