So, today I'm not allowed to go home, and I can't have dinner as well, even though I paid for the house and provide for the foods. That's all because I disagree with my wife belief. I'm actually fine she worshiped whatever being she choose, as long she keep it to herself.
Today she texted me that she wanted to visit Dera, a town in Punjab, India. It's like a holy land for her people, where the religious leader reside. I honestly told her how I feel about her belief, and said I'm not interested to go. Also, financially speaking, I can't afford the traveling cost for the trip. She snapped, and told me to get my dinner at my parent and sleep there.
You see, I paid for the house rent, the bills, and the foods. Their livelihood is from my hard work. But, what do I get in return? Usually a door to my face, and a silent treatment.
I can't do much after that, she got good leverage. If I got on her bad side, she will turn her anger to our son, especially my oldest son. He got hit few times already, just because she was on bad mood. She also threat to jump to the local river along with our youngest son once, because I can't pay off her debt to the loan shark.
She once told me, her biggest mistake was expecting too much from me. Apparently I'm far bellow her ideal standard. I bet mostly on financial standing. Well, my biggest mistake was getting married in the first place, but here we are now, with 2 sons to raise.
I really wish I can get out of this toxic relationship, but on the other hand I also wish that my kids can have a normal childhood. Even though I can try filling a divorce, the custody will favor their mother, and that's even worse. I'm mentally burned out, but I had no choice. I got suicide thought once, but the thought of my kids suffering snap me out of it.
In the end, I'll probably just go home. Try to talk our problem. I don't think it'll be much of a trouble if I miss one meal, though still it's kinda irony, to not able to eat what I earn. Oh well, slaves can't complain I guess.