I don’t know of anyone who have learned anything worthy or became anything close to Human from constant, lazy, relaxed, carefree pleasure. No, not a temporary spark of pleasure that happens once in a while and not the type of relaxation we might need to regain strength... I mean constant, greedy, slimy pleasure that becomes a lifestyle for years. The idea of hedonism is alien to me.
Yet this is what many of us practice. Including me. I may say all I want that I don’t want this, but one just has to look at my entire life and my small everyday actions to figure out that most of it revolves around refusing to be too uncomfortable. I mean, yes, you might see me pushing myself and all that... but only to a certain degree. And in real practice of life that degree of pushing and doing something is just an illusion, a lie.
This is what most of us do. We tell ourselves we do all we can, we do so much, we should not be so hard on ourselves... but the truth is that all this pushing often goes in the wrong direction, or maybe just isn’t enough AT ALL, like if you’re building a fortress and you lift one stone per day and it exhausts you and makes you feel like you are already a hero... but it’s just one of a hundred stones you could potentially lift...
Many humans of today do things and engage in behaviors that guarantee and provide maximum security, bodily comfort, psychological certainty, and saturated, tasty sensations delivered via food, entertainment, sex, and even so-called “spiritual practices” or “healthy lifestyle” (since both of these - with the illusory presence of slight pushing, achieving, gaining, growing - are just a part of this system of lies as well).
I was told today that most of us exist in numbness. Our true, real feelings and sensations are being numbed by the owners of this world through various channels. Our central nervous systems and brain is already under total control. What we think we “feel” as our feelings are most of the time not ours - they are programmed, as well as our emotional responses, reactions, tiredness, cravings, need to sleep...
If a human being could feel and see what is going on in this world for real, he or she would most likely die immediately from the shock of pain throughout the entire body, like if all your teeth were being pulled out of your jaw at once.
We are being numbed not to feel or see what is going on for real so that everything keeps going as normal, so that no one knows or cares because, well, we are hooked on comfort and pleasure (physical and psychological) so much that no one will willingly step out of it to glimpse at the horror covered by all these sensory and visual veils.
You can take it as a theory or some crazy mumbling of a paranoid woman here... Or maybe think about it, or try to find out more. I don’t know.