It seems as if I am going through my second divorce. The first one was tough, but this one seems much
harder to deal with. The main reason is because it's my daughter who is going through it. So am I having
feeling of guilt? Yes! Absolutely! Constant questions in my head. Could I have worked on my marriage
much harder, so she would be doing the same? A definite yes on that one. Should I have not lived with
someone before remarrying? Another yes. What did I do in my life, when she was still a child, that she is
reliving in hers? Is she handling her four children better than I did my three? Is there anything I can say
to her or her husband that will make the difference? If others have gone through this same phase, is there
something they can tell me to help this precious family? Is her husband really just not feeling loved, or is
it something else? What breaks up a marriage and family?
I do believe my broken heart may not be unusual, but twice? The day she called to tell me the news,
she said, "Sorry I am breaking your heart , Mom." She knows me well enough that my children's hurts
are also mine. As parents, we all need to be especially careful not only with our words to and around
our children, but also our actions. What are they really learning when they are hearing us gossiping
about our "friends," swearing at our spouses, lying to others, etc. Years ago I heard someone say,
"little ears, little eyes." children mimic so easily what their parents say and do. By the time they are
out of high school, their personalities have been molded. It doesn't give us a huge amount of time
to help them face the world in the most perfect way.
Of course since finding out, I have been praying for their marriage, for her strength, for his eyes to
open, for each of the children to make it through, making it four more children who have been bitten.
This most likely won't get me money, but I guess I needed to write it out, so my own heart can heal
a bit. If you have suggestions for her, him, the four children or even me, I'd appreciate it. Thanks.