This is one of those “hmmm, I don’t know man, are you sure?” kind of stories; but here goes.
In 2014 I worked a “real job” in a corporate company. You know the ones where you have an office, a boss, you wear business casual and you’ve got some fancy title like Account Manager and yet you don’t have anyone reporting to you. What kind of manager doesn’t have direct reports under him? That was me, I was actually created a title for myself and the boss didn’t dispute me. I put it in my email signature and the boss comes to me one day and is like “hmmm, so I hear you’re our new Junior Estimator and Dealer Account Manager?” I replied with an emphatic “yes sir, I am!” Did not bat an eye.
Over the course of the year that I worked a corporate job I tried to do my best as my undergraduate education could have taught me and my previous experience had taught me. I had my best month in August 2014 and my numbers were steadily increasing. Sales in my portfolio had been at an all-time-low and I was reviving the division and bringing it back to it’s former glory. My boss gave me such glowing praise and feedback and my requests for a review and a raise were now even bolder and more confident. I thought I was on my way to the top. Some time in September I noticed a shift in the direction of my interactions with the boss and second-in-command. I didn’t think into it much, but the writing was on the wall. I later found out I was a dead man walking and I was dismissed in early September but didn’t know about it until the day of the firing.
When something like that happens, it shakes the core of your beliefs about yourself, your competence and it really took a beating on my confidence. I thought I was on my way to the top of the corporate ladder. Vacation time, benefits, bonus structure, car allowance, you name it. I thought I was going there. So here I was, fired from a job I had dedicated my identity to, at that point. I am a real adult with an 8-5 job. Saving for my retirement. Paying taxes and stuff. Got life insurance and all.
Seriously I have made the American dream. Young professional, on his way to middle-class lifestyle and income and bam! They pulled the rug under my feet.
The rest of 2014 was a mix of self pity, anger, regret, what did I do wrong, I shouldn’t have asked for a raise only being with the company half a year, blabla yadee yadaa. Also around that time I was questioning a lot about my identity as a corporate guy. I am an independent representative of a network marketing company, Primerica, and that year we had our convention coming up in 2015 and the theme of the convention was “Know Your Why.” I didn’t know my “why” and I was troubled by that fact.
Everyone around me is stating their “whys” with such clarity and mine is “ummm, you know, do stuff, make some money, blabla yadee yadaa.” I have learned that the only people who make money work at the Mint, the rest of us “earn” our money.
So I have almost entirely eliminated “make money” out of my vocabulary. I don’t know anyone who works at the Mint.
So, I did what every person my age does when they want to find out something they don’t know. I Googled it! How do I find my Why? What is my Why? My Why? I got a bunch of websites and people who said a bunch of weird stuff and others were like it can take a minute or it can take a week at most. Well it didn’t take a week for me so I was like “oh crappers! What am I doing wrong? Maybe I don’t have a life purpose and meaning and stuff.” I almost gave up.
When you’re at a crossroads, that usually when God, or the Universe, or Divine Inspiration comes to you. I found a video by this dude Vishen Lakhiani from MindValley called “The 3 Most Important Questions.” And oh my goodness! I watched the video, I did the exercise, and I never felt more elated. Check it out on YouTube and Google it. So, the three most important questions to ask yourself are about your Experiences, Growth and Contribution. I wanted to contribute to humanity and science and ideally earn a Nobel Prize or equivalent or better for contributions to humanity. Turns out that I also wanted to further my education, just didn’t know how. And I wanted to be back in a fun environment like a school or campus or somewhere where learning, studying, labs and stuff like that are part of everyday life.
I am over 30 so all that seemed like someone who wanted to be 20 again and had nostalgia for undergraduate shenanigans. So after I did the exercise, I kinda let it go after the initial elation came to be. Now, here I am as a Primerica agent who wants to help the world by doing science stuff. So how does that fit in with financial literacy, insurance and investments. So my “Why” is not compatible with Primerica. My coaches kept asking me what my why was and I kept saying I know it, I’m just not going to post it yet in a Primerica wall. That’s a story for another day.
Fast forward to September 2015, one of my old friends calls me out of the blue. We had stopped calling each other for various reasons so when she called it was out of the blue and was unexpected. She’s like, “call my Dean and ask him how you can go to Med School.” I’m like “nah, I don’t qualify, my grades are not the right grades, I’m too old, I don’t have the money and blabla yadee yadaa every excuse under the sun.” She says, “I don’t care, call him!” I try another excuse, she says “I don’t care, call him!” I try another and another and it’s the same, “I don’t care, call him!” So to shut her up I was like, I will call him and he will tell me I’m not a candidate and he will reject me and that will shut her up.
I didn’t call him and she calls after a few days to say you didn’t call. I am like “o.k. fine I guess I will call.” I call and the man on the other side is a salesman, he sold me the dream and I bought it, hook, line and sinker. Hehehe.
I was like no way! I can really do this? My friend and the Dean are like hell yeah! It’s up to you, how badly do you want this? And here I am being like “I WANT THIS SO BADLY! You have no idea.”
The dream to be a medical student was born.
I had no money to go to med school, no real formal preparations, I had been out of school for three years or something, and it seemed like an uphill task and it was. However; now I didn’t care. I was determined to make it to med school.
So, there’s a wee bit more that happened before I ended up in med school but for now; why med school? Because, I found out why and that why is summed up in that one sentence I mentioned earlier, to make a contribution to science and humanity.
That is my mission, that is my life vision, that is my purpose. Over the years I have learned that it is all about your life vision. So I always fail to get that goal, and I always learn. And that’s the way I like it. It’s about the journey, the process and not the M.D. degree ultimately. I will paraphrase a quote by the greatest NCAA basketball coach, “it’s not about winning or losing, if you do the best you’re capable of doing all the time, you’ll find that the results will almost always be to your liking.”
I do my best some of the time, and I am learning to do it all the time, but so far, the results haven’t been too far from my liking.
Thank you,
Lots of Love and Light.
Thapelo!