It is really difficult to imagine how I would have survived this long without meditation. My grandfather taught me some things to help me sleep when I was around 8. Simple things that you may already be familiar with
- Imagine a star-filled sky. Now pick a blank area between some stars and zoom in until there are no stars left
- Flex your toes. Relax your toes. Flex your feet. Relax your feet. Flex your ankles. Relax your ankles.... all the way up
Very simple techniques that may not exactly count as meditation, but they were a huge help for me mentally. At age 12, I was having a pretty hard time with life and started researching meditation. There are so many systems and styles with so many different goals. Since then, I have been meditating daily and evolved my own personal styles. It got me through some really hard times in life, and has allowed me to remain clear-headed even in the most difficult situations.
Image from Pindyurin Vasily
It was important to me that foxboy had these skills in his life. Importantly - very importantly, read this slowly - the skills of which I speak are not meditation, but skills gained from meditation. Meditation refers only to time taken tuning out the world and letting psyche exist as clearly and cleanly as possible. Too many people claim they can't meditate because they "can't clear their mind". Clearing your mind is a skill you might gain through the practice of meditation, but clearing your mind is not meditation itself. When is it appropriate to teach your child meditation? How can we teach meditation to children?
In some way, I think many parents already guide their children to meditation through the use of "time out". Foxboy has timeouts on occasion, but they are pretty rare incidents. He started meditation when he was about 18 months old. Obviously at that age we were not aiming for intricate visualizations, om, or even mantras. This would be too much and likely lead to frustration for both teacher and student. Instead, the goal was to lay the foundation for future efforts in meditation. A child that can understand basic direction is ready to begin meditation.
Meditation is a very personal experience. Likely the most personal experience a person will ever have (this is probably what led me to open a float center some 5 years ago). Experience drives experience in this case. It is simply not possible to guide someone through a meditation; we give them scenarios, tools, exercises, and guidance that hopefully help them get to the experience. As such, while meditation usually steers us away from our sensory perceptions, it is usually required to start with sensory inputs for the beginner.
In foxboy's case, he started with breathing exercises. How does one teach an 18 month old child breathing exercises? One doesn't. We held an open hand in front of his face and challenge him to blow on our palm for as long as possible, first demonstrating by blowing on his palm. Over time, he transitioned from blowing on our palm to blowing on his own palm. Having a degree of breath control can be hugely beneficial in a meditation practice. It also got him to focus on a singular task.
Breath control and focus established, we have now moved on to visualizations and being aware of situations when mental clarity wanes. Visualizations can be tricky for younger children. They tend to be very imaginative and story driven, and we didn't want to discourage any of that. Potting soil, water, and a 2-liter bottle was all we needed. Add soil and water, cap, and shake. Foxboy is then directed to sit with one of us while we watch until things inside the bottle settle.
Like many five-year-olds, his mental clarity wanes most significantly as he gets tired. Children don't tire like adults. The dump of adrenaline a child receives when tired is much longer than ours and triggers faster. When he gets tired, he gets loud, fast, and makes terrible decisions. We are pretty familiar with his routines and know well before he does when he's getting tired. Easy enough to take advantage of our knowledge here - when foxboy gets tired, we ask him to notice how he is feeling in that moment. If needed, he can do some slow breathing (breathing into his palm) or sit for a little while.
So here we are. At five years old, I don't think we can claim that he is any prodigy in meditation or has any advanced skills, but his self-awareness is growing rapidly and he's developing the tools he will need to mature his meditation practice with time.