This life is a paradox
It makes no sense at all, yet it also makes complete sense.
It makes no sense to the mind which is ever grasping, looking for solutions and concepts. Yet from within stillness all things are resolved. In Stillness - all things drop away, leaving only the presence which contains and sees them.
We are essentially unity
This is our basic nature, the rest is built on top. The whole survival play of the monkey mind can run its self out on its own. Who is the awareness which sees the mind?
So often we take ourselves to be this 'I' with so many problems. I'm tired, I'm lonely, I am afraid. Who is this 'I'? We've attached ourselves to this personality, without realising that we can also exist in a more free floating way.
Relinquishing our need to win
All striving, even spiritual striving comes from the survival instinct. It's completely natural, and it's not wrong. The striving can cause suffering however, when we start to think of ourselves as the striver. It's true that striving is required to get things done, yet a lot of things can be done without living as the striver. In fact we can move incredibly beautifully and freely when we don't have this restriction - it allows our movements to be more effective and effortless.
Mind says - I need to try harder, I need more healing, I need to meditate more. I need to relax more. I will be able to start this or be this when I feel more balanced. I will be able to deal with this once I have dealt with that. Once I prove myself to this other person (my projection about them) then I can move forward. Once I have resolved my issues then I can act freely.
This is just a start, the list is endless. Conditions, theories, reasons.
Reasons why you are not complete
None of it true.
Because the truth is you can be fully you right now, once you give yourself permission. You are both sides of the self constructed conversation, so it's really up to you. The outside world is a good reflection of what we are like inside, but really it boils down to our conversation with ourselves inside.
The mind sees life as a game (duality) whereby some condition always has to be met in order to give ourselves permission to be happy. It could be earning an amount of money, having a muscular body, approval, meeting goals or anything else. This is the basic play of mind as a survival mechanism - so we may as well be aware of it.
Our unified aspects
We are more than mind, mind is just one of our processing units.
We are also awareness, a spacious knowing which is not attached to anything.
We are also 'heart' - which is a feeling sense of things. Heart sees its self in other things and seeks to connect to them. Heart enjoys this a lot.
We are also fire, a passion and intensity which does not care for regulations.
We are also radiance, the lightness in our faces and our eyes that expands out into the world.
We are also nothing, an infinite void of mystery - truly compelling in its beauty and depth.
We are always changing and growing and evolving, we are nature, we are a reflection of all things.
We are language, a sea of symbols and sounds - vibrating our cells in various ways. Our DNA is a pool of information written into the flesh. Our DNA is the language of existence, playing out into a world that we can see with our self created sensory organs.
Everything unfolding and calling it's own unique name, being born as a new 'I'. All of these I's / eyes interacting and merging, separating. Expanding and contracting, ascending, descending. Through all of this mess and change some sense of awareness sees it all - sees beyond it.
Sees so far into emptiness that it loses even it's self - experientially merging in absolute purity and unity.
So I ask you, Which 'I' are you? Are you even an 'I'? Is this experience happening to you or are you happening to this experience?
So often the small scrapes of our life can seem so important without the existential context. Without knowing our deeper nature beyond all theses games, we tend to take life far too seriously. Life is a precious gift, life is an amazing opportunity.
When the voice in your head speaks to you, ask yourself if it is coming from fear/division, or is it coming from unity? Knowing when to be quiet and let this voice run its self out - this is the ultimate technique that you have been waiting for.