A bridal shower is also called a hen's night or the bacholerette party in some other places, which may not be exactly the same in terms of the activities, but all in anticipation to celebrate the bride-to-be's wedding. In my Christian culture, we refer it as the bridal shower as we believe in "showering" the bride-to-be with gifts, love and blessings. Among my friends, we usually organize a simple but heartwarming time together.
Just For Laughs
So, I had two rounds for mine years ago before I got married. Hahahahahaha! One of them was fun but a bit chaotic. Funny for me to recall back now because two girls who were supposed to be celebrating me got into an argument and I sort of had to "resolve" it and calm them down in the car. Another girl felt left out because she wasn't invited to the first round(wasn't hosted by me) and she started bombarding me with messages to try to make me feel bad Hahaha! Anyway, I invited her to the second one. Never mind, I'm all over it hence why I can laugh at it now and even back then after it was over. However I don't wish to see drama repeat for this friend.
As I was thinking to host this bridal shower for my close friend Josephine (we call her Jo), I was a bit apprehensive too. What if I don't make it as pretty as those bridal shower on Pinterest? They always look so nice and quaint. What if I missed out some people and they feel offended? So many "what if"s that I suddenly got awakened. Hey this is for the bride, so I must think in her shoes: What would she like and who would she want to have and how she would feel pampered, what is her love language to feel loved etc. It is NOT another party where she needed to host it cos Jo is an excellent PR lecturer and event organizer for both her university and the church. She has also been a dear friend who stood by me and many who were involved in this bridal shower in our high and low moments. This bridal shower has to be ABOUT JO! The Jo I know loves QUALITY TIME and she would love those who supported her in this matter to be there. 😁
I started off with booking her time and getting a few of her free slots before gathering the bunch. Some have approached me earlier because they have the same plan in their minds to celebrate Jo. It makes it easy for me as I know who are those who also stood with Jo in her patient journey of having a life partner and they are the same as me, can't wait to celebrate this special milestone with her.
A little inspiring story from Jo on WAITING AND TRUSTING
I have gotten consent from Jo to share a little snippet of her story of waiting here. Jo is one of the last among us to get married in our age batch. Of course there shouldn't be any comparison in this matter as I believe everyone has their own special timing. Those who attended her bridal shower are all married women with or without children , with a special single lady friend in our midst who has also participated in Jo's journey with her (she couldn't make it in the end as the bridal shower was on the same day as her cousin's wedding too). She had been through questioning times of asking why she was still single and no guy seemed to notice her. All of the other eight of us have been asked by her too. Though we did not have the answer for her in that waiting period, we stood with her contending and praying with her. I remember as our age increased, the pressure increased too. It must have been difficult for her to see her friends got hitched one by one, when I put myself in her shoes. Nevertheless, Jo truly rejoiced with each and everyone of us and she didn't let the pressure consume her to be acting out of impulse or fear like getting into a relationship just for the sake of not wanting to be lonely or taking the matter into her own hands to make something happen. I applaud her for this, her integrity and the values she holds. She continued to trust and believe God would have her best interest in mind because she believed God is a good Father and He gives His children their heart's desires. Every time after she felt disappointed, she cried with God but got back up by trusting Him again and again in tears. She held on closely to what she believes in. She liked this guy for quite a long time like four years, if I'm not mistaken but she never push him. She just quietly waited with God, being his good friend while not knowing where it would lead. The groom-to-be is also a friend who is God-fearing. Our faithful God surprised her one day when the guy asked her to be his girlfriend on his birthday two years ago. The rest of us were of course overjoyed with the news! Fast forward the story, he proposed to her and we are just less than a month away from their wedding, woo-hoo! Her heart's desire is granted!
The Night for Jo!
We coordinated among ourselves a month ago, to prepare gifts that she likes and DIY-ed some simple decorations to personalize the place for her. Here are some photos of the preps we did by ourselves at home and the memorable night. You can tell how excited the bride-to-be was!
Another friend DIY-ed this banner for the bridal shower to personalize the place.
My husband took a photo of me working on the simple place cards till 2am.
Simple place cards for those who were attending. Couldn't churn out anything too elaborate cos the person who was making them was me. 😝
The arrival of the bride-to-be, Jo!
I'm sure you can tell how she felt, looking at her facial expression! Hahaha! Making her put on the things we prepared for her!
The hand bouquet was made of artificial tulips and sunflowers arranged by one of us, which can stay with her forever and as a gift to their new house too!
But she does look lovely, doesn't she?
Group photo before the food arrived.
All of us tried to arrange for our husbands to take care of the children to make this happen, except Jo's godson who tagged along as his dad was attending another gathering.
Another group photo with our bride-to-be after dinner.
Jo's medium rare Ribeye Steak, very juicy, flavourful and tender!
Jo's guilty pleasure, which she happily shared with us!
My mum-in-law (who is their pre-marital counseling pastor) and I with Jo.
Babysitting Jo's godson while his mom went to the ladies.
Last group photo, I promise.
There are still many other photos, which you may view it here at my FB album if you happen to be my FB friends, hehe.
My View on Life Partner, from a Christian Perspective
You may have a different belief system and I respect that. In my belief system which is based on God's values, the utmost quality of a life partner is God-fearing, not in the sense he or she is fearful of God but grounded in God's standards or values should there be differences in opinions or a fight that can happen. He or she seeks God's opinion in everything and can trust Him even when there is a waiting or uncertainty. We believe that God covenants marriage and He seals it with His promise. In my context, being rooted in God is the final say when both might be thinking they are also right or there is a clash of opinions. If you are in this phase of looking for a life partner, know that your heart's desires are important to God who is a good Father. He wants to give good things to His children. Do not lose heart or hope! I'm seriously not saying this religiously, but through my experiences with Him as I too prayed for a life partner, Hehe. I remember telling Him the time I felt my crush and He was laughing at me :P (Another story, another time)
Trust in the Lord and do good. Then you will live safely in the land and prosper. Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you your heart’s desires. Psalm 37:3-4 NLT Source
Do you know of any parent who would give his hungry child, who asked for food, a plate of rocks instead? Or when asked for a piece of fish, what parent would offer his child a snake instead? If you, imperfect as you are, know how to lovingly take care of your children and give them what’s best, how much more ready is your heavenly Father to give wonderful gifts to those who ask him?” Matthew 7:9-11The Passion Translation (TPT) Source
This is one of my favourite songs and I personally think it is a great song for the waiting - Shepherd by Amanda Cook
You can link here for the lyrics. Enjoy the process of being loved by God and not losing heart! Trust that He knows your heart's desire.
I believe for any of us, we have to be grounded in some common good fundamental values (if not Christian values) like respecting boundaries, faithfulness, choosing love over fear, willing to put another person before self, true integrity etc, so that we can agree to disagree in an honorable manner. It is something that can hold a couple together, being diverse in unity.
Oh yeah, there were many other birthday celebrations going on too the same night at the place we were eating. So many balloons and it made the whole atmosphere very joyful. Jo had a blast and all of us too, with laughter and true sharing! We then ended the night with a prayer of blessing. It was indeed our honour and pleasure to witness this whole journey, not just the wedding occasion.
Disclaimer: Some of the photos are taken from my Facebook account and Josephine's Facebook and Instagram account which all of these are from own camera collection.
