Memoir
/ˈmemˌwär/ noun. a record of events written by a person having intimate knowledge of them and based on personal observation. Usually memoirs. an account of one's personal life and experiences; autobiography. the published record of the proceedings of a group or organization, as of a learned society.
Week 6 of the Memoir Monday initiative on Hive begins! For all of those who’ve regularly participated in Memoir Monday - keep going, you’re making great progress in crafting your very own life story for future generations to enjoy! Writing a memoir is an amazing accomplishment that few people will undertake. I can’t tell you how much I’ve enjoyed reading the entries from all across the globe. Take a moment this week to look back and celebrate what we’ve achieved together so far.
For those who missed the inaugural post explaining what the Memoir Monday initiative is all about you can find it here.
This week’s Memoir Monday question:
In your opinion, when is the right time to retire?
My answer:
The better question is, What profession would you not want to retire from?
The answer to that question could be your calling and something you’ll love doing so much you won’t want to retire. This isn’t always easy nor does it even seem like an option for some people but be what we should strive for.
Some people seem perfectly happy and fulfilled working for a paycheck and get their inspiration and joy from things like family, hobbies, and activities outside of their job. The trick is not to let your job define you in terms of self-worth and identity. It's important to be honest with yourself in this regard or you're setting yourself up for misery and disappointment. If you find yourself amongst the larger group who are working a “job” that isn’t something that ignites your soul, you feel empty inside, and you find yourself living for weekends and that next vacation I’d say the right time to retire is as soon as you can.
The average workplace isn't always what it appears to be, it's full of fallacies and is often just as risky and unstable as being an entrepreneur. Downsizing and staffing changes can come out of nowhere and derail all of your plans. Depending on the mental state of those above you, the workplace can be downright toxic and dangerous to your mental and physical health. I've encountered a few mentors who've added real value to my life but there also quite a number of people with sociopathic tendencies in management.
Companies work hard to craft a reputation of stability and loyalty to employees but employers are rarely loyal despite how much value you think you contribute to the organization. Unfortunately, many people find this out the hard way towards the middle-to-end of their careers when they’re higher in the pay scale and become prime targets for budget cuts. You should always be searching inside yourself to figure out what fills you with joy and adds value to the world and then devise a plan to make it happen. It’s never too late.
Also, people you consider to be work friends are really more like acquaintances, as soon as you leave the job the contact with co-workers usually tapers off.
I was lucky when I found writing, once I did there was no doubt this was what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. As I found out later, the difficult part was figuring out how to make a living at it! It took me twenty-three years of trying. Even during the lean years writing was a Godsend to me. It has gotten me through some very dark times. Writing has also helped me to maintain a healthy perspective and modesty during times of success where I might have otherwise lost my way.
In my opinion, the entire concept of retirement is unrealistic, outdated at best, and will probably completely vanish from society after Generation X. Lifespans are longer than they used to be. Also, a large portion of people underestimate how much money they’ll need to survive in retirement or simply don't have enough left after the bills are paid to save/invest so they’ll have to continue to work long after the traditional retirement age.
As I’ve approached middle age I’ve witnessed a lot of baby boomers who’ve retired and very few are able to do it happily and successfully. So much of our purpose and self-worth are tied to our careers or businesses that shortly after most people leave their day jobs they quickly find they're unhappy and feel a huge void in their lives.
How we fill our voids with is the important part and like most things in life, it’s all about mindset. Those who seem to struggle with retirement feel it’s is just a time to rest and relax or they fill the void with unhealthy things like drinking, watching TV all day, or overeating. Many retirees subscribe to the false notion that they worked so hard for so many decades that they’ve earned the right to “retire from life”. This attitude is almost always the start of a decline in their physical/mental health and overall quality of life. Comfort truly is a slow poison.
The retirees I’ve seen who thrive have a different attitude altogether - they challenge themselves, want to keep moving, and continue learning. They constantly strive to become better mentally, spiritually, physically and experience new things. As a result, these successful retirees stay curious and maintain their zest for life.
The picture above was taken at my farewell lunch when I left the company I worked for, Securian, after twenty-two years in October of 2017 to write full time. I worked with some of the people at this table for more than two decades of my life. Many of the people I felt I was even closer with didn't make it to the lunch. We spent more waking hours together than we did with our families but hardly any of them have made an effort to stay in contact. To be fair, I haven't made much of an effort either. That's okay, I now realize these were friendships of convenience, work was the glue that held us together, and they're all just trying to survive. This is just how the world works and one of the many realities that come to light when you leave the workplace.
I think I’ve done a decent job of navigating semi-retirement and working for myself but took a few years. For me, establishing rituals and routines were the magic ingredients that made it all work for me. It’s important to replace the old rituals that were once a part of your workday with healthy and productive new ones. If you don’t do this it’ll be hard to shake complacency, boredom, and the nagging feeling like something is missing in your life. After seven years away from the job I’ve finally honed the rituals and routines that make up the structure of my day but also enjoy the flexibility of being able to change things up in the moment if I want or need to.
It doesn’t happen often but some days I miss certain parts of the old work routine and built-in socialization the job provided. The truth is when leave your job when you’re still young most of your friends still have to work so getting together with the isn’t always possible and it can get lonely sometimes. You have to make an effort to find new friends who have the same freedoms and kind of life that you do.
It felt like a dream the day I turned this badge into security and walked out of that grey skyscraper I called my second home for the final time. I was also a tad terrified treading into uncharted waters. After working for a total of over thirty years of working for someone else it was strange to feel like I was losing that safety net but it was the best choice I ever made. Complacency and boredom are always lurking in the shadows and when your time is your own these two things are your mortal enemy.
Personally, I love the freedom of never having to work for someone else. In some ways it feels like the euphoria that would wash over you as child during the first week of summer vacation or that random, unplanned, snow day.
I fill my days with writing, cycling, traveling, learning new skills, languages, reading for pleasure, staying more physically fit. It’s so great to grab a meal at unusual times (in the middle of the afternoon on a weekday) or being able to shop and run errands when the rest of the world is at work. Oh, and not having to get up with an alarm is and will always be my favorite thing. This kind of freedom is so much better than winning any lottery and preserving it for the remainder of my life is now one of my top priorities. In all honesty, I can't see myself ever retiring.
Rules for Memoir Monday Participation
- Please reblog this first post and share on other social platforms so we cast the widest net possible for this initiative;
- Pictures paint a thousand words. Include pictures in your posts if you have them;
- Answer each Memoir Monday prompt question in your own post. The prompt question will be published each Monday but you'll have the entire week to answer and publish your own post;
- Have fun with it, don't worry about getting behind, or jumping into the project at any point after we've begun; and
- Lastly, be sure to include the tag #memoirmonday.
It's that simple.
At the end of the next twelve months we'll have created something immensely valuable together. It's so important to know our "whys" in life and there's no better way to do that than this.
Someday all that will be left of our existence are memories of us, our deeds, and words. It's up to you to leave as rich of a heritage as possible for future generations to learn from. So, go ahead, tell your stories. I can't wait to read them.
Be well and make the most of this day. I want to sincerely thank all of the participants thus far. I've really enjoyed reading your posts!
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