Missing You So. . .My Memories of You

It feels like it was just yesterday that you are still here with us, tending to your plants, taking care of the animals, listening to your radio and letting me go with you in the fields. But 3 years have passed, time is running so fast and I am yet to accept the fact that you are really gone. My heart ache just by writing this, to remember all those moments with you.
I want those memories to be remembered with a happy smile, not this emptiness and hurt that comes alive whenever I think of you. I need to accept that you are happy and well now with our Creator, never to suffer again. Right now, I am recounting some of my memories of you and I am happy we have those.

Here's some, do you remember them too?

I remember that when I was little, I always wanted to sleep next to you. You would read a verse or a story in the Bible for me and we would listen to the Novena in your radio before we sleep. And then you would pray in español which was so long I often fell asleep before you are even half way through it.

Mother was sometimes angry in the morning because you would raise the volume of your radio in the middle of the night when you are listening to your favorite, Mr. Manny Val. She would complain that your radio could be heard by the whole sleeping barangay yet you would just shrug and say "It wasn't that loud". Then we would be laughing at her reaction.

"I got 100 at school!" says me as I enter the house and I would run looking for you holding my booklet to boast about it. You promised to give me a peso for every 100 I got so I am always excited to go to school and to go home if I did. (But you never did! lol, you still owe me those..)

You love planting, that's why our front and back yard were so full of plants and trees and flowers are everywhere. You said that they need care too, and we should give them that because we also recieve something from them in return too. (give and take as you said)

Do you remember that plant you marcot on so that it would bloom 2 different colored flowers? It always fascinate anyone who sees it and you take pride on it. (It still blooms but the branch where you put the marcotting was destroyed by the typhoon last year. 😞)

Oh, oh that fortune plants that blooms at night! The flowers are so beautiful and smells mildly sweet we would wait until 10 pm to see it bloom? What is it's name again? I forgot how you said it but it seems the name is "Night in Shanghai". Is it? We are the only one who have it here and you would make me water it every afternoon. We love it and it is our favorite plant!

I miss your "dulceng langka" (sweetened jackfruit), you would store it in a tupperware and it was our dessert after meals. Though when meal time arrive you'll find it gone because I ate it all just after you put it away. You never got angry though so I do it often. 😁

Jollibee! Whenever we go to the city you would ask me where I want to eat, and of course little me would say "Jollibee! Jollibee!" with a skip in my steps. And you never forget to buy me those toys they offer with the meals.🍟🍔🍗

How about those times that I hid behind you so that Mother won't be able to scold me? You would reprimand her and tell her that I am your favorite so she can't scold me. I always love those times that I get away with everything I do because you are my shield.

And that time when mother went to Manila, we are left at home with my youngest sister and you told me I'm the one to cook? You complained because I cook the same fried fish everyday for 3 days until you got sick of it and you did the cooking for the rest of the week. I still laugh about it whenever I remember you grumbling while we eat.

The times when I am sick and you will buy me ice cream and cold soda even if Mother says no. (It always makes me better though 😊)

And that disaster I created in my life, you are the only one who wasn't angry and disappointed with me. You still accepted me and didn't judge me for what I did. You even sided with me though we both know I was wrong.

(That's just some of them, we have so much more and I regret not creating more while you are still here.)

Until old age finally caught up to you and slowly weakend you. You would still tend to your plants, they are your babies, you say. And they are important too because they also have life that we need to take care of. But it wasn't long until you fell ill and you even forget things more often than not. And then we have to bring you to the hospital again and again and again, yet you remain strong despite what you are feeling.

You said we would have a grand celebration of your 100th Birthday, that you would be the one to walk me down the aisle. You would always say that you still want to enjoy life. We would still visit places.You left me so soon, we still have plans, yet you didn't make it. But at least you are now with Lola (grandma), you missed her so much, didn't you? This must have been what you were feeling all those years ago when Lola left us, I'm quite young then so I didn't feel like this with her.

I miss you so much Lolo (grandpa), I wish you are still here to comfort me, to give me strength, tell me what to do and be my shield. I needed you, I still do. You are my best friend, my buddy, my play-mate and the father that I never had.
Always remember that I love you so much and I miss you. Thank you for everything. You will be in my heart forever and will never be forgotten.