I got to see my daughter the other day. My love for her grows every time I see her, but its strange. I look at her and although I feel a connection its not unconditional. My whole life I have been told how deep the parent-child bond is and I expected to understand that when I became a father, but the truth is I still dont get it. I can only chalk this up to the circumstances of her conception and the resulting emotional and psychological turmoil it caused me. I hope that one day I will understand, but for right now I cant shake the feeling that she is more akin to a baby cousin or something of the sort as opposed to the produce of my own personal DNA.
Her mother is of course over the moon about our daughter which for my daughter's sake is good, the scary thing is that as much as I resent her mother for what she did to get pregnant I have actually started to consider trying to make it work for our daughter's sake. Perhaps it is a character flaw in me that I always put the greater good before myself, but I do. One thing I am sure of though is that I would be doing it for my daughter.
I dont know, I have had a fine mess flung at me because one condom broke and I didnt have the balls to walk away when given the chance because I have a heart. Anyway, let me cut this one short before I start to ramble...
