I have been reminded, over the last several days, that poverty, in my country and probably around the world, has characteristics that we often over look.
I am doing a house clean out for a friend, who, like me, is not wealthy, though I would not classify them as truly poverty stricken. That said, he was raised by people who were less well of then he is and their parents were even poorer then them. This house has been the home to a cycle of poverty for seven generations and it shows.
There is an immense amount of things that have been crammed into every nook a d corner do this house. Almost none of them have any actual value, though, they were clearly made as cheaply as possible, to look as if they do. They have been hoarded and then tucked away and forgotten. It is as if the person who purchased them hoped that with every new thing they bought or acquired as a "free" gift, that it would some how increase their value or their social status and when it did not, the hid it away and forgot about it.
THERE IS also a film on everything. Dust, dirt, mold, grease, cigarette smoke, cat urine from pets owned by people long gone, though the scent remains. Once proud moments of past deeds and accomplishments forever ruined by time and neglect.
The smell is low, pervasive and it gets intonyour mind. I frequently slaughter meat for myself and others and it reminds me of the channel house aroma of old blood. Not that the smells are the same, but that it creeps into your nose, clothing and even into your mouth to the point where it leaves a taste of its very own. Just as I don't like being in places that have been so poorly maintained for butchering, I don't want to be here, either.
The worst part of all of it is the feeling. The house seems to have a lingering air of sadness, depression, hopelessness and it sucks the energy out you. It is hard to stay motivated, energized and focused. It is exhausting working here and even though I am physically drained at the end inbthe day, when I get home it is hard to sleep. This feeling of pointlessness remains with me and leaves me, restless and feeling dirty, regardless of how hard I try to clean myself physically.
It is my hope, my goal, that this change will break this cycle for my friend. That it will allow him and his family to move forward, free of this burden, able to build positive behaviors and positive momentum towards a goal that will delicate them and move them beyond this quicksand like family history.
It also reminds me that the most valuable thing we can spend our money on is ourselves, not things. Invest in yourself. Build skills and nurture talents. Increase your abilities and spend your money wisely. A five dollar trinket may make you feel a little Vetter right now, but that five hundred dollar investment in learning will improve your situation ten thousand fold in the future.