Many of us get stuck in a rut. It’s normal especially if everything does not fall into place despite efforts, investments, commitments, and resources exerted and given. We can lash out, curse, and break things, but don’t we have better alternatives? Looking back at ancient human civilization in Greece, people relied on the right questions to get to the bottom of issues, like what Socrates did with his students in a process modernly regarded as the Socratic Method. In a similar light, we can always ask ourselves better questions to get unstuck and achieve a more positive outlook. Here are key questions to ask:
Is it worth getting upset over?
Uncontrolled outbursts happen, but it doesn’t change the fact that it is important for us to discern whether getting upset is worth doing at all. There should be room for assessing if moving forward or focusing on the next steps is a more beneficial move.
What can I learn from this?
It is said that a wise person can spot the lesson in every endeavor. Asking for lessons to be learned ensures that one is not bound to repeat mistakes; he or she also becomes more equipped to tackle a similar situation as he or she rises above issues each time.
Am I overacting or overthinking the situation?
One must be able to ask if actions or steps being taken are commensurate to the issues at hand. There is also a wisdom in determining whether one is already overthinking. Oftentimes, such can only be addressed by taking the time to gather information instead of making baseless conclusions.
Is this within my control?
Sociologists put a lot of importance on the dynamics of agency and structure. While these are academic concepts, agency, structure, and their dynamics are quite practical when it comes to dealing with negative life situations. One can always ask if something is within his or her agency or if it’s within the control of bigger, powerful forces. The drill is to let go of things beyond our control and focus on the ones we can do something about.
Is this making me a better person?
When all is said and done, what matters is how we perceive ourselves once the dust has settled. Are we happy with our actions? Can we sleep well at night? Are we progressing instead of regressing? Whatever the answer is, the situation should be examined and re-thought so that whatever it is that makes us better can be cultivated and whatever it is that turns us into a negative version of ourselves can be stopped.