Not in a good way...
This morning, our son phoned to tell me he's off work and heading for the doctor.
He's what my grandmothers would have described as 'down in the dumps'.
In the last few months a number of young lads his age - his friends, school friends, people he knew and didn't realise they had problems - have taken the drastic and permanent step of taking their own lives and it's a very real danger these days.
Obviously we, his parents, are worried, concerned and wanting to help.
Haydn has a lovely little family, he and his fiancée have a child, a house, the usual bills and debts and it's been getting him down for a few months now. He's tried to overcome it, dismiss it and ignore it, but he's finally accepted he needs help and he's plucked up the courage and he's asked.
It's a better step than the alternative.
Sometimes, the doctors don't seem willing or able to do anything and it was a refreshing change for him to see a doctor who not only seemed like she wanted to help, she seemed sympathetic and gentle with it.
While I'm not looking for sympathy in this matter, I'm writing about it because:
a) it helps for me to wrap my head around it all
b) just in case anyone out there is thinking the same as he was - please don't go that extra step to permanently rid yourself of the overwhelming feelings you're burdened with right now.
c) it's an explanation that I may not be around as much - but I'm not going anywhere.
If you have thoughts that you'd be doing everyone a favour, speak to someone! Those loved ones you think would be better off without you and your problems, really wouldn't be better off. The world is a far better place for them with you in it!
They would rather put up with you complaining about not having any money than visiting your graveside, talking to thin air, saying how sorry they were that they weren't there for you.
Do NOT isolate yourself. At the moment, the worst person to speak to is yourself. No, I'm not saying 'get over it,' because I know it's not that easy. You do need to speak to someone that can be sympathetic to your needs at that moment AND someone who has the knowledge and experience to be able to help you.
Please, for the sake of you, your friends and family and just about everyone that knows you, please speak up.
You're worth ALL the trouble, the hassle and sleepless nights to help you get through this and you WILL get through this.
Take care of you
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