By the time I am writing this, I have already taken a referral letter from my the doctor at clinic that I often goes to. The referral letter was her initial diagnose of my issue, and the letter was addressed for the UMMC Department of Psychological Medicine.
Honestly, I felt a bit of relive when meeting up with the doctor, and I really am happy the way she listen and responded to my problem. This is the first time I felt that someone really cared about me. My eyes literally watered throughout the whole session.
I still having my episode of mood swing.. But I'm trying to not 'entertain' my feeling that much. I also started to got out more often and blog about the journey. The upside, my thought of ending myself is almost non-existence. I take that as a good sign.
Below portion of the statement that I've bold is exactly what I am feeling for almost everyday. I really hope in year 2022, I can live my life with much more meaning and hope. I seriously wanted to get rid of this feeling
Depression is a loaded word in our culture. Many associate it, however wrongly, with a sign of weakness and excessive emotion. This is especially true with men. Depressed men are less likely than women to acknowledge feelings of self-loathing and hopelessness. Instead, they tend to complain about fatigue, irritability, sleep problems, and loss of interest in work and hobbies. Other signs and symptoms of depression in men include anger, aggression, violence, reckless behavior, and substance abuse. Even though depression rates for women are twice as high as those in men, men are a higher suicide risk, especially older men: article source
I haven't yet goes to UMMC Department of Psychological Medicine to pass the referral letter and get an appointment date. I am thinking to go there in January 2022. I want the date to be a mark of my effort in fighting my depressed feeling..
Rosmadi Razali