Thorn in the Throat

I think I was ten or eleven years old when, while having my food, a fish bone decided to lodge itself in my throat. Now, that wasn’t new. Like any fish-eating human, it was expected to happen, had happened to me before, but it eventually got washed down the throat. So, it was a momentary pain, and then it was all fine.

Not this time, though. For some reason, this fish bone had a bone to pick. It wouldn’t budge. I could feel the painful prick each time I swallowed. We tried everything – swallowing a handful of rice, a banana, drinking water, and repeating each one at least three times. It didn’t work. To make matters worse, it was nighttime. There would be no doctors. If I needed medical help, then a hospital was the only solution. The hospital is a place we went to if there was something seriously wrong, not for trivial issues.

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It looked like the hospital was very much on the cards. I could see my dad tense, mom worried, sis confused, and I was s*it scared. I didn’t know what to do. I could feel the pain just while swallowing my saliva. But if I said I felt the pain, then everybody around me would continue to be worried, and at that point, the only alternative was not an alternative at all.

I think that was my first memory of making a decision, a painful one. I lied that the thorn had washed down. It hadn’t, but the relief at home was worth it, and of course, a temporary relief for me.

The problem wasn’t over, though.

Prayed to Mother Mary | Promised Something | Thorn Gone | Promise Broken

So long as I didn’t swallow, there wasn’t any pain. But swallowing your saliva was partly a natural habit. I was scared to do that, though. I went to bed, but I don’t remember how I fell asleep.

The next day, being a Thursday, was a school weekly off. So, it was a day to get up late. Not for me. I probably swallowed, and that prick woke me up. Since everyone was sleeping, now was my chance to explore and see if I could do something about it. I took a torch and looked into my mouth in the mirror. I could see the thorn. I tried reaching it, and surprisingly, my index finger touched it. I could feel it, but couldn’t move it.

I was in tears. And then I made the first promise of my life. I had made some earlier also, but I distinctly remember not keeping it. Come on now, I was only ten. But this promise was to Mother Mary. I didn’t know I had to keep it. I remember praying to Mother Mary:

“Please let this thorn go, and I will do one Rosary every day for the rest of my life.”

Now, this may sound dramatic and miraculous, but I AM NOT JOKING. It wouldn’t have been even half a minute of me praying as above, and the next swallow, I was at ease. I couldn’t believe it. I saw in the mirror once again. The thorn was gone.

I turned to Mother Mary and profusely thanked her. And, of course, did the first Rosary then and there. But I don’t think I went past even half a week before I gave excuses to myself to do the rosary. I literally broke the promise. I remembered it, yet never bothered to make my promise good.

Unkept Promises With People? | No Repercussions | Unkept Promises With Divinity? | What Do You Think Happens?

The thorn in the throat episode passed away, but the feeling of relief never did. Even growing up, as a youth, an adult, a married man, and later, a father, I never forgot the promise that I did not keep. And even then, I wouldn’t do the rosary regularly. I would do it as and when I pleased. Normally, prayer was a fifteen-second affair for me, and the Rosary was a full ten to fifteen minutes long. So, I thought that the fifteen minutes weren’t time well invested. I was some investment guru! I still don’t know how I thought it was okay to not keep a word that I gave the divine.

I distinctly remember sweeping the entire experience under the carpet and telling myself that it was nothing. God would forgive and accept me. In hindsight, it was not me telling me, but the ungodly whispering in my ears. I failed to see what I had gotten myself into. How could I have overseen the biggest miracle in my life and brushed it aside as nothing? How did I believe that there would be no repercussions?

Repercussions were looming. I wasn’t ready for it. And the repercussions were due to the ungodly. Not God. God, in fact, saved me. Gave me another chance. You’ll see.

The Ungodly Came Knocking | I Was Knocked Off by Depression | Found My Footing Again | Thanks to God!

My life was going well, successful school and college years, pretty successful and fast-paced work life, but the intermittent failures were there, too. Somehow, the voices only amplified the failures and never let me revel in the successes. And guess what I kept hearing more often?

‘You don’t keep your promises.’ [My colleagues, friends, and spouse would say]

“You need to keep your promises.’ [My bosses would say]

Those statements were hitting alarmingly, closer to home, right?

The ungodly voices and the focus only on failures eventually took me down. I was in depression, roughly 33 years after failing to keep my promise with Mother Mary. I am not saying, depression was God’s way of getting back at me. It never was. Depression was my way of moving away from God. I had free will, right? God wouldn’t overrule it. But the devil… that was a totally different ball game.

God wanted to help, but I was too focused on the ungodly. However, learning came soon. After a long time, I realized that I couldn’t get away from my promise. I am glad that I realized. Imagine if I had died without fulfilling my promise. Can you imagine what would have happened to me? It would have been an eternity lost. Thank God, I just lost a few years to depression instead of eternity to the ungodly.

What Now? | Making My Promise Good

One of the problems during my depression phase was the unending torment of the ungodly voices. Torment is an understatement. Those voices drive you crazy and take you to the edge of suicide. Life has improved a lot as I started leaning on my God. Those voices haven’t stopped fully. I still keep hearing them now and then. But during my Rosary phase and praying phase, it just gets silent.

Now, I am intelligent enough to know that salvation lies in me keeping my promise first. The engineer (Ok, you don't need an engineer for that) that I am, I calculated the number of Rosaries that I haven’t done. So, that’s a total of 34 years since the ‘thorn in the throat’ episode. The number of rosaries, therefore, is: 34*365, which leads to a total of 12,410 Rosaries. Remember that it was one Rosary per day.

In other words, I would have to do 34 Rosaries every day to complete my backlog. If I do 10 Rosaries every day, then I will be able to complete the backlog in 3.4 years. Phew, some task! But better to get a chance to complete it in this life than no chance in the next one.

I am glad that I will be able to keep my promise. And I hope that by keeping a promise made to God, I will also learn to take promises seriously and keep them with others, too!

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