Relationship Insight: written by Yemi Richard
"95% of life's success is determined by successful Relationships".
In this edition, more attention will be focused on 'Marriage Relationship'.
The rate at which marriage relationships collapse these days is becoming so alarming and challenging that if certain experiences are not shared and life lessons learnt, the virtues and values of marriage will be totally eroded in the society, and the reasons to invest in it will no longer be appreciated.
Firstly, it should be remarkably noted that the reason many young men and women go into marriage these days are not only wrong but also a defeated purpose of life in waiting. This is as a result of unmet targets and unrealistic expectations set by either or both parties involved. However, the few lines below could be an antidote to the existing ones that are already degenerating.
Those who are about to go into marriage and those already in it should know that marriage is a school of life where you learn and unlearn lessons from your past, your present and the future unfolding events.
In order for young married or engaged partners to lead a happy and lasting relationship, it requires both parties to treat one another the way little children and old couples do. Majority of the relationships people keep up till today are the platonic and casual ones they built from childhood with their peers, school mates,and siblings. That's how powerful little children relationship can be.
However, it is estimated that 87% of marriage relationships started from age 18 to 30 and till the day of wedding. About these delicate age bracket, individuals tend to have grown toughened minds as a result of different life experiences drawn from the pursuit of academics, building business and job careers, family pressure, financial struggle and other challenges that busily preoccupy the mind. Oftentimes, these experiences form the basis of intolerance, impatience and violence which lead to the quick separation and divorce in today's marriages.
Have you ever seen little children fight and not unite in minutes? Whenever they fight and cry over toys, they quickly unite and smile the next moment over cookies. This is how they keep growing together, holding hands going to school and sharing different lessons of life.
Little children do not have hearts that bear grudges for long, they have the tendencies to quickly reunite over issues that the grownups allow to linger over a longer time.
Similarly, it is unsual to find couples at old age quarrel and not settle the next moment. This is because many of life activities and challenges do not have meanings to them anymore. They tend to find more happiness, peace and unism in their relationship because experience have taught them that 'there is nothing to worry about in life, only to be understood'.
In order to lead and enjoy a blissful marriage relationship, the two parties involved need to see and handle matters often the way little children and couples at old age do. Supposed grown-up and mature partners have been seen many times fight over trivial matters, such as sleeping position in bed, sharing of toothpaste, which have led to a more serious case that brought the intervention of a third party and possibly a separation.
Oftentimes, the egoistic and stubborn nature of men and women respectively are what culminate, and as such allow little matters that could be easily resolved to linger for so long and degenerate to the state of separation and divorce.
When little children are cheated, they cry a little while, quickly let go, forgive and go on to play. When old couples argue over an issue, in no time they resolve and the next moment they move on to something else. This is because they all know there will be no one around to make them happy except their partners.
Many relationships have and are collapsing today just because the two parties allowed little issues to linger for too long. When both parties allow too much space of time to pass over their differences, they have created a chance for deeper-negative thoughts and ill- feelings about the other party. This therefore, gives room for accumulated anger, distress of mind and a state of depression. Hence the emergence of a combustible heart, which automatically lights up the fire of bigger issues that the entire world holds on to as the reasons for divorce and failed marriage.
The solutions lie in the UNDERSTANDING AND KNOWLEDGE of: frequent communication, ability to forgive quickly, patience and readiness to learn from the other party and embrace their point of views, submissiveness on the part of the woman, humility on the part of the man, and a collective effort to realize both mistakes, to learn from them and lead a happy life.
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