I can't stop thinking about Rose McGowan today. She is an incredible force to be reckoned with. Her two recent interviews on Good Morning America and The View are heart wrenching and tragic, in hearing what's happened to her. But it is also empowering and hopeful.
I know that sexual harassment and sexual abuse goes beyond Hollywood, but I hope everyone is able to see some parts of the Rose McGowan interviews (whether you like those shows or not). Rose was the spark that ignited the #metoo movement that has been much needed in course correcting the standards (or lack of) that we’ve allowed in our society. Codes of engagement that should never have been accepted.
To think that it has taken 20 years for her voice to be acknowledged while trying to share what happened to those around her. WTF! In 1997 she was raped by Harvey Weistein (and I’m not going to say “allegedly” because I believe it) As I was watching her interview, I transported back to that time. As I am a similar age as Rose, and I worked temporarily at Miramax the year she was raped. The biggest recollection I have from that experience was how toxic that environment was. I was not there long enough or involved enough to know anything that occurred there, but I was wise enough to trust the the “toxic” vibe I felt was enough for me to say this is not for me.
As I can recall myself from that time, I couldn't even imagine how damaging it would’ve been for me to experience something to the degree of what Rose experienced. But I’m imagining it. Maybe we all need to imagine it, and get a reality check on what has happened and continues to happen to those who are sexually abused (of course, other than those who unfortunately did experience such a thing, and sadly don't have to imagine).
I think some find it challenging to put themselves in someone else’s shoes like this, but people need to truly ‘get’ how horrible this is to experience. It was, and it is. Until it changes. People cannot behave this way towards others. And those around them can no longer be complicit. We as a society have the power to deem this behavior intolerable. Enough is enough.
I hope this discussion and this movement continues to build. And I want to continue to shine a light on a certain aspect of all of the recent personal revelations we’ve been seeing on social media. It is raising awareness. And it is creating a sense of solidarity for those who have been victimized. And for some it can bring up previous traumatic feelings or pain. If you know someone who recently shared about having been sexually harassed or sexually abused, reach out to them and ask them how they are doing (preferably not just on social media).
Most trauma’s don’t heal in a linear fashion, they resurface over time and often connect to other traumas. And right now, I think many are feeling a collective ‘release.’ The recollection of psychological and physical traumas can be cathartic, but they can also be emotionally painful. So, if you’re in a position to support someone in emotional pain, hold the space for them. And if you don’t feel capable, that’s okay too, perhaps you can even connect someone to a helper or healer in your network who has additional training in counseling, or trauma therapy, or rehabilitation for those who’ve been abused in some way.
Even if the instance happened years ago, in psychological terms a person may be presently having a ”discharge” or “release” that is valid and feels just as real to them in this moment, as when the incident happened. We must treat this with compassion and care. There may be an accumulation of past hurts, and while current acknowledgment is adding to the awareness within the larger collective, we don’t want the individual who experienced it to get lost in the shuffle. Be gentle with each other, and let’s allow this shift to happen.
May we all continue to support those who are sharing their stories of being harassed or abused. And may we hold the space for them to be survivors and empowered to live their lives.