I am 27 years old, near into my 30’s, and roughly a month away from being 28. I never pictured my life to turn out this way. Perhaps to some extent I thought maybe this would happen, but I did everything I could to push through to prevent all of this from happening.
Since high school, I have been struggling who I was and where I wanted to be. I am sure every kid had these issues, but for some odd reasons my thoughts have not changed much since then. I have been in stagnant water and I wish it were thin ice.
Being raised in an Asian family is really difficult. Though they say they support everything I wanted to do in life, at the same time it never seemed to satisfy their tastes. Sad to say, I did not want to become a doctor or any place in the medical field. Where I’m at would be considered close to it. I did find a loop hole and it was a good one. I have always been clever in that way with my family, but I guess you could say it caused some trust issues. It would seem I never follow through what I said I would do.
So I told them . . .
“I want to be an engineer, but a biomedical engineer.”
I convinced myself and to my family that being an engineer was the right choice for my undergrad. I could continue on and become a medical doctor. It really wasn’t a terrible idea in the beginning. I had the aspirations to go for my M.D., Ph.D — crazy, I know.
Well I fooled them and I most definitely fooled myself. It took me roughly 5 years to complete my degree. I struggled a lot with that degree. People could only imagine my struggles. The current events that happened in my life during those years has turned me bitter towards higher education. I decided I will no longer attend medical school and instead obtain a Ph.D. Later it turned into no Ph.D and just a masters. And well… now you can imagine where I am at now, just a simple bachelor’s degree in science.
My family was not necessarily upset. They were convinced I would find a career and hopefully go back to school. It was a good plan to work for awhile to earn some money and go back. Who knows, maybe I would find a company that would help pay for my education and give them years of my life.
Or so… that was the plan.
After a few struggles finding a job and working for few that I hated, I landed on a great opportunity with a small start-up. I loved this career path. I mean I fell in love with it. I enjoyed every moment of it being a scientist and an engineer.
Until….
Now, the company I work for has decided to change paths. They got bought out by one of the largest biotech companies in the business. So many back-and-forth talks with this business deal that really got me on my toes. It was exhausting. Granted, I wasn’t the only one getting the short end of the stick as well. However, I couldn’t help the fact it was a huge slap in the face.
The intention was I would still have this career. That the company will still stay where I lived and grew up. After two years in the works, what turned out to be a prayer also turned out to be a curse in disguise.
The company acquisition was a great one, I am happy to see the company I worked for and helped build to continue growing. This transition turned out for the worse for me. This little business is being picked up and moved to the West Coast. At first there were talks that I would go along with the company. It turns out they decided that there was no need for me and they wanted to train their own people. Typical business. I really can’t be upset about it; after some thoughts I realized the West Coast might not be for me.
So now it brings me to the present time. I am lost. Who am I? What am I going to do? What is my life? Am I an engineer? Am I a scientist? Am I anything at all?
Well, something came along for me. I have decided to move and do something different. I wasn’t quite sure what this new change was going to be but I was going to let it happen naturally.
December comes along… and something happened, little did I know it changed my life in a very simple but drastic way.
I am now on my way to move to Mexico. Quintana Roo. Playa del Carmen.
How did this happen? What was that change? Well I guess you will have to find out next time.