Hello Steemverse!
Sorry I missed posting this on Monday. So much going on and busy building (hopefully a business) that they day gets away from me.
I wanted to talk a little bit about being mindful at work. This is hard for many people yet if we don't learn this early on we could be setting ourselves up for disaster.
When I was growing up being mindful was limited in a sense. The philosophy was not taught, but some actions were. I was told to be mindful of how I speak to others or how I treat others. I was never taught to be mindful of myself and the impact others have on me. When one thinks about this, it is kind of dangerous to only be given part of the equation. In chemistry, if you are missing a part you can't just wing it. It means the difference between a base and an acid. Or completely ruining the results you were trying for. There could be that lucky instance of creating something better. Missing pieces, ingredients and so forth weaken the integrity of the whole.
I am not sure how this is in the world in general, I can only speak for my part of the world, but working in customer service is hard and has gotten immensely worse over the years. It wasn't my career of choice, but I had to earn a living to take care of my kids and myself. Now it has come back and bit me in the ass.
I have never minded helping people, but I have minded when I have been treated poorly. A customer hit me, I called security. A customer screaming at me, I walked away. It was great when I was younger. I got in trouble for how I responded sometimes, but I didn't care because this was temporary.
'You just can't walk away from a customer!' Why not? 'It's rude!' They were yelling at me, that is rude. 'It doesn't matter!' So I am supposed to sit there and take it? 'Yes!' I don't think so. Nothing gives anyone the right to treat me this way. 'They spend money in the store. That money pays the bills. You are one of those bills the company pays. You will stand there and take it regardless of the abuse.'
Now I know better. WRONG. No one should ever be put in that position. A manager, coworker or even another customer who was there should have stepped in. Rather than have it escalate, I walked away. That's what I was told to do when I was younger. Someone upsets you walk away. Don't get mad, don't let them get to you, walk away. WRONG. It is rude to walk away from a customer, however I should have simply told the person I was getting a manager and then gotten one. What this did it set me up to an ongoing cycle of abuse. Thinking I had to stand there and take the abuse. So when it started at home, what did I do? I stood there and took it. Why? Because you don't walk away when someone is talking, yelling or screaming at you.
I never realized any of that until recently. I look back now and see where I could have done things differently, should have done things differently. It is extremely hard to not take things personally when someone is standing there calling you stupid. You know you're not. You know that the person doing this doesn't matter in your life in the grand scheme of things. Yet words are used that cut to the quick. That cause harm to the to the person being yelled at. After a while when I went to work I put on my 'game face.' I became another person. Friendly, personable and detached, kind of twisted too. I had found if I used a soft syrupy voice, regardless of what I said when they could not ruffle my feathers they got mad. They would get really mad. I found pleasure in that. I acted and did exactly what my employer wanted. I killed them with kindness and they would explode.
Then I learned how to twist that and make them love me before they left. When I think back now, no wonder I am demented LOL. This actually worked for years. Then my conscious got the better of me. I couldn't handle being 2 different people. All of this because I was told to be mindful of my words and how I treat others and being told I had to take abuse.
Did you know it is perfectly ok to excuse yourself from a situation? If you are feeling that you are getting upset, excuse yourself for a moment. Go get the manager, they get paid to work with the outrageous customers, you don't.
Did you know it is ok to stand up for yourself? Shocker. You can tell the other person their behavior is unacceptable. You can set boundaries. In fact, you should. The only thing you need to make sure of when this is a work situation, is how you handle yourself. You cannot and should not yell at a customer (most situations that will get you fired) You can tell them they have crossed the line and then again, get a manager.
If you are the manager, sorry. You should stand up and support your staff. You shouldn't hang them out to dry when bad situations like this occur. I've been both sides and trust me when you try to mitigate a situation and you are not a manager, regardless of your work history, it tends to make the situation worse because you do not have the tools needed to resolve the situation.
When you're at work and let's say that your boss is yelling at you for something not selling. It is not likely you have any control over what people buy and don't buy. There are so many variable to why something doesn't sell. Take that moment inside, breathe and then speak. If you blurt out in response, you lost control and you added unnecessary stress. Don't analyze or try to figure out 'What did I do?'. To start overthinking at this point will clutter your mind and chaos ensues. Talk to them. Ask what they would like to see different. What are their suggestions. Don't ask what you did wrong. More than likely you didn't do anything. Most of the time when a statement like this comes along, it is due to circumstances you are not involved in. They are looking at someone to blame.
When this is done, then shut that door and walk away. That conversation is done. There is no need to go back and stress yourself out over something of this nature. You are in control of you and when you cannot let situations like this go, that is when problems start to occur.
Each day, each moment, each interaction is new. To dwell on what happened previously increases your stress. Even if you have to do some research on a problem for a customer. Only work with that when you are working on that issue. Don't take it home with you.
My best advice, is that all of this stays out of your home. Don't discuss work details at home. It it is giving your employer free time. It is allowing that individual that gave you issues, your time and your space. Set boundaries. If you go out with coworkers, don't talk about work. If someone asks about something simply tell them you're not at work and you're not going to discuss work off of the clock.
Take your breaks. Smokers don't really have an issue here, but non-smokers do. If you have to go spend 10 minutes in the bathroom just to get away from your work area, do it. Don't each lunch at your desk. You need that time away. I always suggest and activity when you're not at your desk. Go for a walk around the parking lot. Read. Play a game on your phone. Detach yourself from the work environment. I would bring hardcover books with me to work and sit and read any chance I got. Most of the time people left me alone, I left reality behind and lived in the book for that short period of time. Take a power nap in your car. I have done this from time to time and it actually helps. I would sleep for 45 mins of my hour lunch. Me in the peace and quiet away from everyone.
There is so much that one can do to try to be mindful at work. You just have to remember to do it. Don't beat yourself up anymore. Don't let a bad workplace bring you down. Employ these little activities, keep things simple and above all no one is worth your happiness and inner peace.
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Thank you for your continued support!
Love,