—Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, Airman's Odyssey
Why are we so obsessed with Perfection? Why do we so desperately want to be perceived as “perfect”? Why do we feel so bad when others point out our imperfections?
Why are we so—unnatural?
No one is perfect. Perfection is something we created; something unreal. To create “perfect” we decided to take away everything that make us natural beings; that make us humans. See, the only reason we consider something as “perfect” is because a lot of people had decided what perfection should look like, and we just followed.
We’ve been raised to meet a lot of standards: be the perfect child, get perfect grades at a perfect school, go to the perfect college and have the perfect job while we walk around in a perfect body. We all, even those saying they don’t care, have been victims of these standards.
But what can we do? How can we oppose? How is it possible for a single person to go against the entire system and not die trying?
I think it is still unknown.
Maybe is not “oppose” what we really need, maybe we just need to see beauty in nature—accept how we really are; our real talents, our real bodies, our real voice and character. We need to embrace ourselves, and stop comparing ourselves to others that seem so perfect to us, as if they weren’t human.
Me, for an instance, couldn’t help feeling so depressed every time I saw (or even thought about) these perfect women like—Emma Watson. I always felt so small in comparison, so ugly and so… not feminine. But the bottom line is that there is no comparison, she is her and I am me, she surely has good things but she is human too and, because she is famous, we only get to see the spectacular woman she is on cameras, we don’t really know what she is really like.
Me, on the other hand, I’m not famous nor spectacular on cameras, I’m a normal person with good and bad things, and I’ve, too, been victim of those people trying to define you for your flaws instead of your virtues. That can be… very discouraging.
But I can assure you, even if you don’t see it in a mirror, there is beauty there, a beauty only you can carry because it is only yours. Don’t try carrying someone else’s beauty because it just won’t fit. Appreciate the beauty you do have —because you have it— and learn how to use it in your favor. Don’t change who you are or what you have just to meet some unrealistic standards. It’s just not worth it.
People tend to think these problems are mostly for women, but they couldn’t be more mistaken. Have you any idea how difficult it is to be a guy nowadays? They not only have to have that perfect body (or at least, acceptable), but they need to be “cool” enough to be “boyfriend material”, they need to have money, initiative, they basically have to be insensitive to survive all the judgement and bullying. They have to be masculine, strong, powerful… The difference is that women are louder, we complain about it and try to defend ourselves from our standards…
But what about theirs?
What about kids? Students? Parents? They all struggle with the heavy standards.
I think the key is just to forget them — ignore them, just live this life as the people we really are.
You don’t have to be what others say, you don’t have to look like what others say, you don’t have to think like what others say… You have the right to be you. The imperfect, beautiful you.
You, forget those doubts. Whatever you are thinking, whatever you want to wear tomorrow, whatever body you feel comfortable with (as long as you are healthy)... Do it. Just do it.
Even when people say bad things to you, about your hair, your teeth, your size, your style, your… whatever.
Never forget that there is beauty in each and every one of your imperfections.